FLIRT more. FIDGET less.
I’m gonna come right out and say it... there's a good chance you're wearing clothes that are TOO BIG for you. Sounds bold, doesn't it, to assert such a thing, when I don't even know you. But I've been paying attention lately to women and their wardrobes, and it's a phenomenon I'm seeing EVERYWHERE.
And what intrigues me the most, is that most women don't even know their clothes don't fit properly.
Wearing TOO BIG clothing usually means...
You’re trying to HIDE your body
You’re wearing the WRONG cut/style/silhouette for your body shape
You’re unsure HOW clothes are SUPPOSED to fit
You’ve stopped caring, because it’s TOO DAMN COMPLICATED
There is a (slight) chance that TOO BIG clothing is an aesthetic that you truly LOVE, and it makes you feel sexy, confident, elusive, and straight-up badass. BUT, this is an exception. NOT the rule. Women tell me all the time that too-big is “their style” and they love it... but it’s bologna. Their body language tells me otherwise.
Do you want to know HOW I KNOW when somebody is fooling themselves into thinking TOO BIG is their style?
They TUG!! They adjust and pull, shift and shimmy, tug and tussle.
(Pay attention to YOUR body language. Do YOU do that???)
All that fidgeting happens so frequently, it takes me about 10 seconds to see what's happening. It's as plain as day, when you know the tell tale signs.
A few weeks ago my husband and I went out to dinner (date night... WOOO!) and we were sitting I-can-hear-your-whole-conversation close to another couple. They were on a first date (you could tell by the conversation), and the woman, who was sitting next to me, was clearly very nervous. She was tall, beautiful, curvy… and completely uncomfortable in her fancy date-night outfit. I could see that she was spending WAY MORE TIME fidgeting with her clothing, than paying attention to her cutie-pie date.
She seemed to enjoy his company (the giggling and blushing told me that), so I don’t think it was a get-me-the-hell-out-of-here-because-you’re-a-total-creep kind of fidget. It was a I’m-ashamed-of-my-body kind of fidget.
I'm practically an expert at spotting this type of fidget. Because it's so damn common.
It took every ounce of strength that I had not to do an intervention. Right there. Right then.
With a few quick tips and a little bit of know-how, she could have ROCKED her date-night outfit and spent MORE TIME FLIRTING, AND LESS TIME FIDGETING.
If I had done a 5-minute intervention, here's what I would have told her:
1. Your shoulder seam should hit you at the curve of your actual shoulder, not above or below. Don't waiver on this (unless your shirt is of the dropped shoulder variety, like this one).
2. Your boobie-buttons should never pull. Ever.
3. In most cases, muffin-top is completely avoidable. Make sure your jeans/pants/shorts are long enough in the rise for YOUR body, AND be sure to wear the right sized pants! TOO-BIG pants will slouch, fall and result in muffin top, and TOO SMALL pants will sqeeze you in too tight and ALSO result in muffin top.
Pants are hard. I get it. They are hard for almost everybody. Buck up, and find pants that fit.
4. STOP TRYING TO HIDE!! It doesn't work. In fact, it can actually ACCENTUATE exactly what you're trying to hide. DON'T DO THAT. I see women tug their shirts way down to hide their hips and rump all the time (see picture below). IT DOESN'T WORK! It actually makes your hips look W-I-D-E-R.
5. Avoid baggy-boob-darts if you can. My breasts are small and low on my body, so I know the Herculean effort it takes to find shirts/jackets/dresses that don't give you puckery-boobie-darts.
6. Sleeves that are too long look frumpy. If you LOVE your wrists (many women do) keep your sleeves short and show off those wrists! (Plus, shorter sleeves make your legs look longer. No joke!)
And p-lease, I don't want to hear any... it's easy for YOU, Stasia. But my body is different.
Do you have any idea how many pairs of jeans I tried on before I found the cut/style/brands that fit my body? Over 100. ONE. HUNDRED.
Do you know how many shirts I've put back on the rack because the boobie-darts were designed for breasts WAY larger than mine. About a million.
THIS is EXACTLY why my wardrobe is so small. Because it's HARD to find stuff that fits MY body. I don't get discouraged or pissed off. I have enough, and I don’t need more in my closet than “enough”.
Start paying attention to how you interact and engage with your clothing. Do you tug and pull? Yank and shimmy? If you do (and I'm guessing you probably do), STOP and ask yourself WHY.
xo Stasia