Do these pants make my butt look BIG?

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You know just as well as I do that this is a weighted question, and the thought of having to answer this question puts people into an anxiety induced temporary state of shock… their heart rate increases, their brow begins to sweat, they experience rapid and shallow breathing, nausea and lightheadedness. They may even become weak at the knees and need to sit down. (Alright maybe that's a little melodramatic but you get the point!)

Why? Because no simple YES or NO answer will do.

If one answers YES to this question, it can drop us to our knees with feelings of irreparable inadequacy and a huge plummet in self esteem.

If one answers NO, we immediately don’t trust our informant and assume they are only saying NO to protect us from the feelings of irreparable inadequacy that I mentioned above.

This is why what I’m about to share is going to ROCK YOUR WORLD!

My husband came up with a fool-proof, completely objective, blame-it-on-the-pants-not-your-butt method of answering this question, and it’s a marriage saver!

We use a rating system.

My husband knows full-well what my derriere looks like, so the system is based on what is already known to be true - the actual size of my tush.

The PANTS (or jeans, skirt, dress) can either…

1.  Make my butt look smaller than it actually is.
2. Make my butt look its actual size.
3. Make my butt look bigger than it actually is.

Do you see what’s happening here… all judgement is placed on the PANTS, and NOT on my butt!!

There are all kinds of contributors that affect what your butt looks like in a pair of pants. Things like… pocket size, pocket placement, rise, color, embellishments, inseam length, fading, etc. change the visual perspective, big time. So it makes sense to take the onus off your booty, and place it where it belongs, ON THE PANTS.

Here’s how the rating system is put into practice:

Rating of 1 (butt looks smaller than it is) - These 3 pairs of pants fit into the “butt looks smaller” category, and not gonna lie, that does NOT hurt my feelings.

Rating of 2 (butt looks it’s actual size) - If they fell good and I love everything about them, then I’m sold, because I’m okay with m'tush looking like m'tush because it is, after all, m'tush.

Rating of 3 (butt looks bigger than it is) - sorry, no pictures to show you, because I don’t buy pants that make my butt look bigger than my butt. My measurements are 30 - 30 - 40 so my butt is already stealing the show!

Do you see how brilliant this is?? There is no YES or NO required with 10,000 strings attached. There is simply a scale, based on factual, known, true, non-subjective data.

If you don’t believe in the success of this rating system, just listen to what my husband has to say:

“Honesty, integrity and dealing with conflict are some of my strengths. But answering “Yes, those jeans make your butt look big,” regardless of how honest this was, always seemed to bring unnecessary conflict. So in an effort to creatively resolve this conflict I’ve designed and patented (United States Patent #147329) this classic rating-system-response that works effortlessly. Stasia no longer dreads the response but actually solicits it as valuable information to help make purchases, decide what to wear to a party, etc. I encourage you to share this with your significant other. You’ll both be forever grateful!”

So go on, propose this new rating system to that special person in your life if you'd like an honest-to-goodness answer to the question, "Do these pants make my butt look big?".

xo Stasia