#stylebymychild TURNS ONE!!
Hello! It just occurred to me that Raisa (my daughter) and I have been doing #styledbymychild on Instagram + Facebook for OVER A YEAR!!
That's right, for ONE WHOLE YEAR I have allowed Raisa free rein of my closet EVERY SINGLE MONDAY, to pick out my ENTIRE outfit, without a peep of rejection or resistance from me.
I used to think I had a pretty good handle on my closet... until #stylebymychild came along. In the past year, I've learned MORE about my body, my closet, my limiting beliefs, and my emotional attachment to STUFF than I would have EVER anticipated.
Imagine for a minute, giving YOUR child free rein of your closet, telling them their only task was to MAKE MAMA BEAUTIFUL. (No kids? How about your mother/sister/brother/partner/neighbor/BFF.) You sit back and watch, as your babe thoughtfully works his/her way through your clothes, shoes and accessories and picks out...
Wait. Let's STOP here for a minute, because I want to know what you're thinking.
A) Being #styledbymychild sounds like a GREAT IDEA, Stasia. I'm totally going to do this!!
B) Are you bananas? Hell no. NO WAY. Never.
I'm guessing that B (for BANANAS) is the resounding winner.
Which is precisely WHY I'm going to share with you the lessons I've learned in the past year that have made it ALL WORTH IT, because it hasn't ALL been pretty!
LESSON ONE. It's ok to LET GO of guilt.
Why in HECK do we have things in our closets that we don't like, want or need? You know... the orange blazer with the baggy boobie darts. The gold dress that is a static-cling-nightmare no matter how many times you try too de-static that thing. The black shoes that pinch your toes with every single step. The orange tights that you really really REALLY don't like but keep putting back in your damn drawer!!!
(Note the orange blazer with the baggie darts, the static-cling gold dress, the black shoes, and the orange tights! This is real life, yo.)
The answer... 50 SHADES OF freakin' GUILT.
"I SHOULD like it. I mean, I like it in my mind so I SHOULD just be happy with it, right?" "But it was expensive." "It was a gift." "I've gained so much weight, nothing else fits. I don't deserve to buy anything new." "My body is too short/tall, skinny/fat, wide/narrow." "It fits so I feel like I SHOULD like it."
I could write a blog post called 50 Shades of Guilt... because seriously, I have heard (and USED) at least 50 guilt ridden reasons why we hold on to stuff we don't like, want or need.
It's almost like there is a part of Raisa that is intuitively drawn to the stuff that I like the least. I moaned my way through those orange tights at least six times before I finally learned the lesson and let those things go, because "I SHOULD like them" has no place in my closet.
And it has no place in your closet either.
Pay attention to the rhetoric inside your head when you get dressed. If it's laced with 50 Shades of Guilt, listen to it, learn from it, and then let that shit go.
LESSON TWO. It's OK to go a little wild.
I've worn some pretty wild closet concoctions in the past year! Things I would have NEVER worn in public otherwise...
And it's been AWESOME!
Being #styledbymychild has taught me that it's OK to push my own boundaries. To step outside of safety. To live on the edge!
It has helped me EXPAND and become MORE of myself.
When you step outside of your zone of safety, you will undoubtedly find a place that EXHILARATES and THRILLS. A place you might never have found without that little nudge.
LESSON THREE. It's OK to be FANCY.
For some reason, we think we have to SAVE FANCY.
We think that feeling CONFIDENT, BOLD, CREATIVE, STRONG, and downright GLAMOROUS is something we have to save for special, and that our baseline should be frumpy, uninspiring and plain old boring.
No. WAY!
Being #styledbymychild has given me an excuse to wear my fancy on a Monday, and guess what? Nothing bad happened! In fact, GOOD happened. Because I felt good. And when I feel good I do good.
So now, you might find me being fancy... even on a Wednesday.
Here is what I KNOW to be true:
1. My body is BEAUTIFUL, just the way it is, so if something doesn't fit, I now it's the CLOTHES that are the problem. NOT MY BODY.
2. My clothes MUST be a reflection of who I am on the INSIDE. Just because they fit, does NOT mean they are right for me.
Those TWO THINGS right there, are the foundations of style. You MUST understand how to dress YOUR body and you MUST be able to answer the question WHO AM I AT MY CORE, without reservation.
Style is fluid, NOT static. As you grow, and become more of who you are, your style will inevitably shift. That's why what worked 6 months ago, might not work now. That's why you might think you like something, but realize that it no longer suits you.
Being #styledbymychild keeps me on my toes, but YOU don't need to be styled by YOUR child to learn and implement these basic, but very profound, lessons.
That's what Stasia's Style School is for. ;)
Where are YOU at with style? Do you think your BODY is the problem? Do you know what it means to dress your INSIDE on the OUTSIDE?
If you take a minute to answer those Q’s right there, there’s a good chance you’re gonna learn something about yourself that is MEGA IMPORTANT. So slow down, ask the Q, and wait for an answer to arise.
Love, Stasia
