Why I Choose a Word of the Year

It's New Year's Day, 2020, which is the PERFECT DAY to reflect on 2019, and lay down some intentions for 2020.

I don't know about you, but man, 2019 was AWESOME.

Not in a that-was-easy kind of way, but in a holy-buckets-that-was-hard-and-I-survived kind of way!!

When I started the year, I declared CEO as my word of the year.

I was DONE caveating and diminishing my work, my vision, my business. I was DONE feeling ashamed and embarrassed when people asked me when I was going to "get a real job". I knew that it was time for me to TRULY stand in my power, and recognize that all the work I had done to build my business was something to be PROUD OF!

Except, I had a belief inside my head that said... REAL business leaders never make mistakes, they never fail, they always know how to do all the things, and they certainly don't talk about something as ridiculous as "style".

Intellectually I knew none of that was true. But hell if every time I made a mistake, fell on my face, or admitted I had no clue what I was doing, I felt like a half-assed dimwit. And if someone gave me the side-ways eyeball when I told them what I did for work... I about died of shame.

My brain needed some serious re-wiring, and I KNEW it wasn't gonna be easy. I KNEW I was gonna need a WHOLE YEAR to work on that re-wiring. I knew I was going to have to let go of old beliefs, and create NEW healthier beliefs that supported me, instead of tore me down.

I knew what "my work" was, so I chose a WORD to remind me of my work.

C.E.O.

CEO meant falling down, and getting back up. It meant saying yes to things that scared the crap out of me, and then letting go of the outcome. It meant being brave enough to suck at something new.

I knew I needed to filter MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE through the CEO lens in order to shatter old beliefs systems, and create new beliefs systems.

2019 was a humdinger of face plants and "failures"... and a whole lot of pivots and recoveries.

The January session of Style School didn't quite sell out (I was so close!) and I BEAT MYSELF UP for it. I cried, pitched a fit, got mad, threatened to quit.

The November session of Style School didn't sell out by a long shot, and I realized it was an opportunity to pivot in my business. I buckled down, and started hashing out a plan to expand my reach. I never cried once.
I went surfing for the first time ever in my whole life. I had my ass handed to me. The ocean beat me up. I cried. I shook. I got bruised and battered.

On the final ride of the final day of the trip, I popped up on my board and rode that wave like a pro. I felt wicked proud.
I went on the radio, and did a pretty shitty job expressing my ideas, my thoughts, my vision. I cried a whole bunch.

I went BACK ON THE RADIO, and felt like a regular ole radio personality. I felt great.
I did my first ever keynote address, and walked off the stage crying because I could NOT engage the audience for anything.

I did a second keynote address later in the year, and was told that I should have charged triple because it was THAT good.
I did some live, in-person teaching, and honest truth... I wasn't very good at it. I wasn't confident in my skills. I lost control of the group. I shook for a month afterwards.

I said YES to teaching live, in-person weekend workshop at Kripalu, and had THE BEST teaching weekend EVER.
I signed up for a hip-hop dance class, and came face to face with some "cartwheel shame" that I've carried around with me since I was a kid. (I've NEVER done a cartwheel in my life.) I cried in class.

I asked the teacher to give me private cartwheel lessons so I could LEARN how to do a cartwheel at the age of 45.

CEO's fall down, do scary things, and sometimes suck. But they get back up, pivot, and flex their brave muscles. Not just in their business. But in life.

Choosing CEO as my word (my work) allowed me to practice CHANGING MY MIND in many areas of my life. NOT just in my business. It's all connected though, because I am the common denominator in everything that I do.

Choosing a WORD OF THE YEAR allowed me to PRACTICE changing my belief pattern, over and over again, for a whole entire year!! Sometimes I sucked at it. Sometimes I challenged my thoughts. Sometimes I wasn't strong enough to challenge my thoughts. Sometimes I blew my old thoughts outta the water.

I used to say things like, "THIS IS JUST HOW I'M WIRED!" or "I CAN'T HELP IT, THIS IS JUST HOW I THINK!".

Turns out, we can change!! Did you hear that?!?!? WE CAN CHANGE!!

But it takes commitment, practice, dedication, clarity, tenacity, courage... and the space/time to try try try, over and over again.

And now, I'm ready to COMMIT to a new word.

MY WORK for 2020 gobsmacked me about a month ago. My "new word" scares me, because it's going to disrupt how I organize and prioritize my time, my commitments, my projects, my intentions, my dreams.

There are always one, two or three REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT PROJECTS that I want to tackle. Projects that will turn my dreams into reality. Projects that will allow me to really and truly live up to what I believe I'm capable of doing/being.

And I put them off like WHOA.

I will search high and low to do ANYTHING but the THING. I'll prioritize silly little do-nothing tasks, just so I can pretend I don't have the "time" to work on the PROJECTS.

I am an expert at searching for tasks, and avoiding the projects. And that's all about to change.

PAUSE.

That last sentence there... "and that's all about to change", just knocked the wind out of me. The second I typed those words, my shoulders fell forward, as if I had just been kicked in the gut. WEIRD.

My word for 2020 is DISRUPT.  😲😲😲

You guys. I'm seriously having trouble taking a deep breath right now. I've known this is my word for about a month now, but January 1st was a ways off, so I kept saying... I've still got time to dilly-dally, not be productive, and avoid the big projects that I KNOW will move my life forward in a new direction. And now, January 1st is tomorrow... and I'm freaking out.

DISRUPT. DISRUPT. DISRUPT.

I need to see it, feel it, navigate in and around it, step into it, dress it.

YES, I said DRESS IT. Because that's what I do. I WEAR MY WORD so I can keep it close to me every.single.day. But that's a whole 'nother newsletter my friends, and you can read all about how I “WEAR MY WORD” HERE.

In the meantime, I'm wondering if YOU have a WORD OF THE YEAR?

If you're new to the concept, or just unclear on how to CHOOSE your word, I have a few tips for you:

Your word has likely been nibbling at the edges of your consciousness all year long
Your word is found in that part of your brain that decides to move left, when your entire being (your soul fire) is begging you to move right
You shouldn’t need to think too far ahead or too far behind to figure it out because in my experience, that thing you need to work on is ever-present
PAY ATTENTION
Our bodies/minds/souls know exactly what our work is... we just need to listen
Let it wallop you

My word ALWAYS finds me. It's like... the universe KNOWS what's coming, and provides me with the tools I need to navigate my path. I usually - no - ALWAYS - have resistance to the word, because it's hard, scary work that seems impossible.

But time and time again, I learn that the impossible isn't actually impossible.

xo
Stasia