Cuff it. Pop it. Fold it. Tuck it. Knot it. Layer it. Accessorize it.

Wanna know the quickest way to CHANGE THE ENERGY of your outfit?

Cuff it. Pop it. Fold it. Tuck it. Knot it. Layer it. Accessorize it.

It's true.

Whenever I put something on that gives me those lazy, frumpy, heavy, boring, invisible feelings, I don't let me brain jump to -- If only my belly was smaller, my hips were narrower, my boobs were bigger, THEN I'd feel happy.

No way! My body is a good body that does good body things, and it does NOT need "fixing" for me to feel good in my clothes. That's diet-industry BS and it's just not true.

(Your brain will OF COURSE cling to those body-shaming thoughts like it's the truthiest-truth of all if you don't give your brain any other thoughts to think! Once I trained my brain to pivot to the –– pop it, cuff it, fold it, tuck it, knot it, pop it, layer it, accessorize it –– thoughts, and then TOOK ACTION, I all of sudden stopped defaulting to "my body must be the problem" because I knew it wasn't!

EXAMPLE 1.

When I first tried this sweatshirt on in the thrift store, I thought, "No way, this feels too frumpy. I don't like the length, the sleeves are too long, and the collar is wayyyyy too... grandpa." But then I front-tucked the sweatshirt, cuffed the sleeves, popped the collar and I was in business! I paid for it, brought it home, added a few accessories, and shazam! I felt dynamic, alive, energetic, freeeeeee!

EXAMPLE 2.

When I first put this combo together, I felt all kinds of doughty. So I cuffed my jeans, front-tucked my shirt, rolled my shirt sleeves over my sweater sleeves, popped my collar, and accessorized. What a difference! I felt spunky, fresh, alive and buoyant.

EXAMPLE 3.

You can't get more classic than jeans and a flannel, but dang, wearing 'em plain sure drags my energy down. So, I layered on some sequins (tucked of course!), knotted my shirt, popped my collar, rolled my sleeves cuffed my jeans, and accessorized. SEVEN MOVES. In one outfit. What a difference.

EXAMPLE 4.

Somedays, I just don't feel like wearing hard-pants. Ya feel me? But that doesn't mean I wanna throw in the towel and feel uninspired all day long. I STILL wanted to feel capable and smart, so I paired my leggings with a button down shirt (I surprised myself with THAT move), layered on a denim jacket, popped both collars, rolled my shirt sleeves OVER my denim jacket sleeves, and then accessorized. Oooo geez I felt capable and smart!

Now, it's your turn! Here's what I want you to do!

1. Grab a stickie note and write down: Cuff it. Pop it. Fold it. Tuck it. Knot it. Layer it. Accessorize it.

2. Put that stickie note on your mirror, and tomorrow morning (or afternoon - no judgement here) when you get dressed, go through this list and see if you might try out a new move or three or seven.

These are UNIVERSAL MOVES that EVERY BODY can enjoy. But be forewarned.

The second you dare try a new move, your brain will try to convince you that you can't "get away with it" or that "this move is only for gals with THIS kind of body," and it's not true. Your brain doesn't like new moves, because it can't immediately categorize it as being "socially safe" without any prior experience to draw from. Totally normal. Tell your brain you're okay. Give yourself a hug. And TRY ANYWAY.

If you tried this move before, and got teased, your brain will FREAK OUT. Or even if you saw someone try this move before, and you saw THEM get teased, your brain will still freak out. Vicarious style-trauma is a thing. Your brain thinks the move isn't socially safe, so it'll insult you up one side and down the other as a way of protecting you. (Oh, the irony.) Totally normal. Tell your brain you're okay. That you're safe. And then TRY ANYWAY.

If your brain slings insults at you, don't confuse that with "not congruent." If something isn't congruent, you'll notice, you'll feel a little meh, and you'll move on, no harm no fowl. If your brain throws even ONE insult at you... that's shame. DO NOT CONFUSE SHAME with "this just isn't my style."

Before I wrap this up, I wanna make sure you wrote those moves down on a stickie note and stuck 'em on your mirror. Did you?? (If you did, hit CLICK HERE, and tell me YOU DID IT! That way I can write you back and say… WAY TO GO!)

As the late bell hooks said, "To begin by thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility."

Love is an ACTION. Accountability. Responsibility. that's it, right there.

xo Stasia

Sexism. Stereotypes. And the color PINK.

How many of you have a rough relationship with the color PINK? I mean, PINK has historically been filled to the gills with pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys sexism.

For years I thought pink was too "girly", too soft, too innocent to be worn by a grown-ass woman. 

If I wanted to be seen as STRONG + EMPOWERED + BOLD, I did NOT want to be seen wearing PINK. 

So in my effort to step into my power as a woman and buck stereotypes, I refused to wear pink. 

What I didn't realize, though, was that by refusing to wear pink based on the stereotype, I was completely validating the stereotype.

In other words, I was still operating WITHIN the pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys stereotype because I was basing what I wore (or didn't wear) on what other people thought.

THAT'S what a stereotype is, right? An over-generalized BELIEF/THOUGHT by a lot of people, about a certain group of people.

So in order to truly STEP OUTSIDE the stereotype and prejudice that's inherent in the pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys sexism, I needed to buck the stereotype and decide if I even LIKED pink.

In other words, I had to check in with how pink made me FEEL, outside the stereotype. 

So a whole bunch of years ago, I started experimenting with all the shades of pink. And turns out, wearing pink makes me FEEL joy-filled, playful, individuated, tender-hearted, bold, and fiercely-feminine. All feelings that for me, are based in strength and vulnerability and courage. 

Stereotype be damned. I LOVE PINK! 

Which brings me to last week's #5DayStyleChallenge of wearing PINK for a week! 

Day 1 - I thrifted this NEON PINK button down shirt last year, and honestly, I have NO IDEA why neon EVER went out of style in the 80's. I went a little bananas with the accessories, and piled on a neon beaded necklace (HERE), a black leather necklace, and orange earrings (HERE). Now you might look at this accessory-combo and think... "geez, I'm not sure that jewelry GOES together". And to that I say... it goes 'cuz I say it goes!

Day 2 - Pink AND ruffles! When I first saw this sweatshirt at the Goodwill, I laughed out loud because I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. I often do Instagram stories from thrift-store fitting rooms, where I try on all sorts of weird and wild and funny things, and thought sure THIS TOP would make good comedy. The second I put it on I laughed... but then three seconds after that, I realized that OMG I LOVE THIS FREAKIN' TOP!

I battled with myself for about 3 minutes.

I LOVE IT. No I don't. I LOVE IT. No I don't. I LOVE IT. 

The fact that it was a pastel pink, ruffled sweatshirt made me feel cheeky and badass and irreverent. But I struggled with the tight crewneck and full length sleeves.

So, I bought it, brought it home, and immediately CUT OUT the neck, and CUT OFF the cuffs.

Hello new favorite!

Day 3 - I was shocked to find that I was running low on pink (I thought I had a lot more), so I had to get creative. I went through all my drawers looking for a pink top, and all I could find was my pajama tank top. And I went for it. I layered my pink pajama top under the lace cardigan I wore for last month's #5DayStyleChallenge, put on the headband from the day before, the necklace from the day before that, and the jeans from every-damn-day, and felt awfully clever and resourceful, wearing my pajamas as clothes-clothes for a whole day! 

Day 4. I had to REACH. I went into the basement to see if I had anything PINK tucked away, and heck if I didn't find this blue dress with pink flowers! I didn't wear it last summer because we were off adventuring, hiking in different national parks all over the country, so I had forgotten all about it! The last time I wore it was for my TEDx dress rehearsal in 2018. Whaaat?! It felt awfully fancy for a weekday, but hey, WHY NOT!? Nothing wrong with feeling fancy!

Day 5 - I was outta closet-options, so I went straight to my needs-fixing pile, and pulled out this handmade dress that has about 5 holes in it, right along the seams. Since Vermont is still SHUT DOWN, and I was going to be home all day, I decided to wear the dress, holes and all. You probably noticed that this dress looks like it was MADE for my body, and here's the thing. It was! Meg McElwee from Sew Liberated designed the #StasiaDress a few years ago, and it's a true beauty. Now... if I could just get around to fixing it! 

Day 6 - I was having so much darn fun with PINK, I decided to wear my favorite PINK polypro hiking top for a quick jaunt into the mountains! 

And just in case you're wondering... yes, I do see the cellulite on my thighs. And no, I'm not ashamed of it.

There was a time though, when I would have DELETED this photo immediately, and sunk into a pool of shame so murky, so deep, so thick with disgust, that it would have taken months, maybe years to recover. 

Yes, that's how much I hated my body. 

My body hasn't changed since then. My MIND has. Because like I always say, body shame has absolutely NOTHING to do with your body, and EVERYTHING to do with your MIND. 

And boy does it feel good to notice a photo like this, and NOT feel shame. 

I spent YEARS thinking that the ONLY way to NOT FEEL SHAME in my body... was to FIX my body. 

Turns out, I was wrong. 

#mybodyisnotaproblem

Aaaand there you have it, my journey with pink for a whole entire week.

Oh, and pssst. Did you notice that as you scrolled from picture to picture, the vibe of each outfit was different than the one before? I used to think that meant I wasn't STYLISH ENOUGH because I couldn't figure out if I liked hiking clothes, fancy dresses, messy hair, giant-ass ruffles, lipstick, or leapord print Vans. I surly couldn't like ALL of those things!! They're so... DIFFERENT!! 

But over the years I've come to realize that WE ARE DYNAMIC/COMPLEX HUMAN BEINGS, so OF COURSE how we SHOW UP is gonna change from day to day.

THAT is the DEFINITION OF STYLE if you ask me! 

xo Stasia 

5 Clever Ways to Layer a Cardigan

I don't know about you, but corona-time has provided me with an honorary degree in getting-the-most-outta-what-I-got. 

Before corona...

• the second I ran outta strawberries, I'd run to the store and buy more strawberries.

• the moment my dishcloths started to spring leaks, I'd take a trip to Target and buy another pack.

• and when I started feeling bored in my closet, I'd hit the thrift store and buy myself a treat.

Nowadays...

• I go without strawberries until "grocery day", and eat something else instead. 

• I make do with ratty dishcloths, because though they may be homely to look at, and it's kind of a pain when my fingers get stuck in the holes, they clean the dishes just fine.

• I find NEW ways to wear the same old clothes, which I gotta admit, makes me feel clever and resourceful and downright corona-creative.

Just last week I challenged myself to wear an old cardigan sweater 5 DAYS IN A ROW... as an under layer. 

#5DayChallenge
#YesISaidUNDERLAYER

You and I both know that cardigans are "supposed" to be worn OVER things, like tank tops, t-shirts, dresses, and button-down shirts. 

But 5 weeks into lock-down, I needed to break outta the confines of everyday livin', disrupt my old patterns, and flip the dang formula!

Because when you can't leave the house, you gotta bring the wild-hearted adventuring HOME.

Day 1. I wore my cardigan sweater UNDER a button down shirt. This is a move I learned from Style Sister, Ursula, and I gotta tell you, it's a move that I'm going to put into heavy rotation. I LOVED IT!

Day 2. I wore my cardigan sweater UNDER a blazer. As soon as I put this combo together, tears came to my eyes because it felt THAT congruent. The next time I have a speaking engagement, I'm wearing THIS on stage. Thank you, corona, for the inspiration! 

Day 3. I wore my cardigan sweater UNDER another sweater. Again, this is a move I NEVER would have thought of if it weren't for this challenge. You can't really SEE the cardigan much in the photo, but in real life, you could see the lacy-texture THROUGH the other sweater, and it felt pretty darn "whiskey in a teacup"! 

Day 4. I wore my cardigan sweater UNDER another cardigan. DOUBLE cardigans? Yes, yes I did, and it felt every which way to fabulous, and not one bit frumpy.

Day 5. I wore my cardigan UNDER my denim vest... and OVER a tank top. That right there was a double-move. Something special to wrap out the 5 day challenge, and an outfit you'll definitely see me in again, because I LOVED IT!

And you know what's wild... nobody in my family noticed that I wore the same cardigan 5 days in a row. In fact, if you had seen me in town (which you wouldn't, because there's no such thing anymore), there's a darn good chance you probably wouldn't have noticed either.

I used to have this "what will people think" voice inside my head when it came to wearing the same thing over and over and over and over... and OVER again, but after this?? Puh, I can put that thought to bed.

It's not like I was out there sneezing on people for goodness sake. 

Maybe you haven't gotten dressed in 6 weeks. Maybe you've gotten dressed, but haven't put in any effort because "nobody's gonna see me anyway". Maybe the overwhelm has gotten to you, and getting dressed with intention has felt like one-more-thing. 

I get it. I get all of it. And if that's where you're at... that's okay.

However, if you've had ENOUGH ALREADY, and you're ready to FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT, then how about making a change. You can't expect to feel something different if you're doing the same old thing, day after day. 

Grab ONE THING in your closet, and see how you might CHALLENGE YO'SELF to wear it differently, 5 days in a row. 

A bunch of gals in the SSS alumni group have been giving it a go, and the results have been FANTASTIC!

Check out what my gal Elizabeth (SSS19 Amelia Squad) did with her red pants!? Is she fantastic or WHAT?

And check out how Liz (SSS19 Rosie Squad) wore the same shirt 5 days in a row... over, under and even AS A SCARF!! 

Both of these gals are wearing smiles that could light up a room. Why? Because they're feeling clever as heck, super resourceful, wicked creative, and downright HAPPY to be challenging themselves to a challenge they can't lose! They can only WIN! 

How about you? Wanna give the ole #5daychallenge a try? Just for funsies?

(If you're in the SSS alumni group, hop on in and join the #5daychallenge party!)

I'm starting the #5daychallenge over myself... with a cut-up sweatshirt that I sometimes wear for fancy, and sometimes wear as pajamas. Today was Day 2, and I'm gonna go another three days, and see what I can come up with. If you're not following me on Instagram, you outta, because that's where I'll be showcasing my corona-creations. And they ARE creations I tell ya! 

xo Stasia 

What Better Time to SHOP YOUR CLOSET (then during a pandemic)

No matter where you are in the world, it probably feels like March 58th to you too. Except it's April. Almost May. And from where I'm sitting, it looks like we're gonna be staying home and social distancing until March 124th. 

Speaking of time-not-exactly-flying-by... do you know WHY so many gals wear the same things over and over again, even if those clothes don't make them FEEL good?

Because (I've been told) they don't have the capacity to explore what "styles" DO make them feel good.

By "capacity" they usually mean TIME + MONEY. 

Well good news my friend, because I wanna invite you into your very own closet. It's only a minute away, the cost-of-goods is free-thirty-free, and it contains EVERYTHING YOU NEED to learn EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW about your own "personal style".

After 5 years of teaching Style School, it never ceases to amaze me how many women know exactly WHO THEY ARE and WHAT MAKES 'EM FEEL GOOD... and then stuff all of that knowing right into the back of their proverbial closets.

Having the guts to say THIS IS ME is scary is hell. Wicked vulnerable. And downright liberating.

I just wrapped up the 19th session of Style School last week (which we've aptly named SSSCovid-19), and with the whole world shut down, gals did all of their "shopping" right in their very own closets instead of in the stores. And HOLY MOLY you should SEE what they found, and WHAT THEY LEARNED!  

Lucky you, they said I could share it all with you right here in a fashion show exposé.

First up is my gal Saskia (SSS15 Rosie Squad + Big Sister to SSS19 Amelia Squad), who FINALLY pulled these AMAZING earrings outta hiding after realizing they were not "too much" after all. 

"I saw these sparkly, leather, feather-shaped earrings in Boston last summer, gasped, and thought “I MUST have those, and I will NEVER wear them in public.” The “too much” jiblet is looouuud, but they make me feel giddy and flashy and magical--kinda like a mermaid. This is their “public” debut."  

If you don't know, "jiblets" are those negative voices inside your head that say mean things to you when you're brave enough to SHOW UP. (It's Style School speak.) Well, Saskia put those jiblets in their proper place (outside, pounding sand) and wore the dang earrings because she KNOWS there is no such thing as "too much". 

Do YOU have any jewelry stuffed away that you're afraid might be TOO MUCH? How about flexing your brave muscle and wearing them... today! 

And now, let's take a gander at Claudette (SSS19 Maya Squad), and check out this incredible dress she's had in her closet FOR 10 YEARS, but has NEVER WORN!

"I was feeling a little rebellious today - our last day before lock down kicks in this evening. I have had this dress for about 10 years and never worn it. Today I felt like it needed a chance celebrating my waist."

I about FAINTED when Claudette posted this photo. She had this hanging in her closet for 10 years before pulling it out for a full day's wear during a stay-at-home-global-quarantine-day-with-kids!! 

What do YOU have hanging in the back of your closet that you've never worn!? How about giving it a go this week?

Next up is my gal Holly (SSS19 Rosie Squad) who pulled a pair of swashbuckling boots out of her closet that SHE HARDLY EVER WORE because she didn't think she was "cool enough" to pull them off. 

Not cool enough? No way.

She told that "not cool enough" jiblet to head outside and go pound sand with Saskia's jiblets. Because HELLO, she is SOOOOO cool enough to wear the dang boots. Can you believe they've been sitting in her closet virtually UNWORN for all these years?

Most of us have at least one "I'm not cool enough" piece in our closet. What's yours? Can you commit to wearing it THIS WEEK?

And now, let me introduce you to Style Sister Kathryn (SSS19 Rosie Squad), who bought a fancy-pants necklace while traveling on vacation, and then stuffed it in a drawer because her friend didn't like it!  

"I bought this necklace from an artist in London while visiting a friend. Friend’s response was lukewarm about it when I showed her and that was enough to bury it away...never to be worn! How absurd is that??"

Gals, what other people think about what you wear is none of your damn business. (Yes, I said none of YOUR business. Other people can make what you wear their business, but you don't need to make what they think any of YOUR business.) You get dressed for YOU - to feel good in YOUR body - to connect to your SOUL FIRE. Kathryn re-realized that the second she put this necklace on. Shazam!

Do YOU have something in your closet that you LOVE... but somebody made fun of it, so you tucked it away and stopped wearing it? How about wearing it THIS WEEK!

Next up is my super-fly Style Sister, Cindi (SSS19 Rosie Squad) who had an unworn dress AND denim jacket sitting in the back of her closet for A YEAR before pulling both pieces out during the first week of Style School. She somehow got it in her head that she couldn't wear stripes... because you know, RULES. 

"I didn't think I could wear stripes."

Can't wear stripes? Who makes those rules up anyway? The fashion police? I'm calling their bluff. You wanna wear stripes, then wear the dang stripes! Because my goodness, this dress fits Cindi like a glove, the stripes look whimsical and fun, and the denim jacket looks amazing. She's the master of balance and proportion here, and I'll tell you what... SHE KNEW BEFORE SHE EVEN KNEW SHE KNEW that this was a smokin' hot outfit that fit her body, and her SOUL FIRE, perfectly. 

Got anything in your closet that has a pile of RULES attached to it? How about flushing those rules down the toilet and WEARING THE THING this week?

And lastly... check out the hadn't-been-worn-in-13-years blazer Danielle (SSS19 Maya Squad) discovered in her closet!

"I bought this as a suit 13 years ago, and wore the suit once for the interview for my current job. It's been in the back of the closet in a garment bag because I never wear a suit. I pulled out the blazer and I love it! Great color for me. Good length. Whoop! The pants are on their way to ThredUp because my amazing hips will never fit into those pre-baby pants again."

Do YOU have a suit stuffed into the back of your closet that just might have a top or bottom that STILL FITS, and can be worn as a separate? It's a wicked clever move. Super resourceful. And totally FREE! I mean... look at Danielle's smile here. She won the SOUL FIRE lottery, no doubt about it.

And yep, even I have taken to shopping my closet for treasures! I had bought a pair of burgundy leggings MONTHS ago, and had only worn them once. So on a regular old weekday, I whipped them out, put ‘em under a pair of denim shorts, threw on a floral crown, and called it a day. I felt downright glamorous!

Gals, this is what STYLE is all about. Finding things that fit, make you feel good, and leave you feeling clever, resourceful, smart, sexy, brave, grounded, glamorous, fierce. 

And there's a good chance you've got THOSE EXACT THINGS in your closet already.

I just ran an ENTIRE SESSION OF STYLE SCHOOL during a global pandemic, where the only place gals could go shopping was in their closet. And it was AWESOME! 

I know a lot of you are feeling the frustration that shopping is off the table because you're itching for something new... but I'll tell you what, there's a 99% chance that YOU HAVE SOMETHING NEW in your closet already.

Go digging. Find the things you've set aside because you didn't think you were "cool enough". Put on the fancy dress, the big earrings, the sparkly tank top. Wear the good jewelry. The swashbuckling boots. The gritty denim jacket. 

You might roll your eyes and say... NOW, DURING CORONA-TIME??  And to that I say YES. Now. FEELING GOOD feels extra hella good these days. 

So go for it. SHOP YOUR CLOSET. And see what you might find!

xo Stasia 

Bored with your Closet? Try this move.

I don't know about you... but the minute I learned that ALL SHOPPING WAS OFF THE TABLE for the COVID-19 shelter-in-place order, my closet all of a sudden started to feel choked. Boring. Depressing. 

I have to wear THIS STUFF for forever?? No thrifting? No swapping? No shopping?

Listen gals, they don't say that "necessity is the mother of invention" for nothing. 

We think that our closets are an abyss of boring has-beens, but I'll tell you what, opportunity abounds, when we've got the guts and the gumption (AND NO OTHER CHOICE BUT) to get creative. 

I just read this quote, straight outta the mouth of one of my Style Sisters:

"The things I already have in my closet aren’t necessarily “boring,” they just need a little help from other things in my closet and/or some fun accessories to show my true personality."

BaBAM. There it is. Sometimes we just need "a little help from our friends". 

Just yesterday I got dressed in a closet-combo I'd never worn before... but even though it was a new combo, something was missing.  So do you know what I did? I messed around with all kinds of different tucking and knotting, twisting and tying, and guess what?  I discovered a BRAND NEW MOVE. Something I'd NEVER done before. 

You guys, I tucked one side of my shirt into my pants.

It may not SEEM like much. But I’ll tell you what. That ONE. SIMPLE. MOVE. changed everything.

And all of a sudden, I felt scrappy, messy (in a good way), disrupt-y, creative, and... mysterious. 

Mysterious because if anybody had seen me, they probably would’ve thought to themselves... “I wonder if she did that move on purpose? Or if maybe her shirt accidentally got tucked into her pants after going to the bathroom.”

THEY’LL NEVER KNOW!

And gals, I'm not the only one inventing new moves, and making the MOST out of what I already have in my closet.  I've got a gaggle of Style Sisters in session RIGHT NOW who are reinventing their closets one creative, brave, confident, rule-breaking muscle at a time. 

"Being brave has opened up a whole new wardrobe possibility for work, and for feeling more authentically myself." 

"My boring closet is actually less boring if I look at it closely and with creativity!"

"Many things in my closet I've had for years because I'm confident in what I love. I just haven't always been confident enough to wear some pieces and some combos."

Instead of sitting home, stressing about all the lock-down orders being dropped around the globe, how about we spend some time cultivating COURAGE, CONFIDENCE + CREATIVITY instead.  

Our primary job right now is to follow the rules being laid out by our government officials (#flattenthecurve), and to take care of ourselves/our families. We gotta breathe. We gotta eat. We gotta move. 

We're in this for the long haul, so we gotta keep our shit together, the best we can. Instead of lamenting all that we can't do, and all that we don't have, let's focus on what we CAN DO and what we DO HAVE! 

Instead of feeling sad you can’t go shopping, get excited about turning your closet into your own STYLE LABORATORY. 

Go to your closet, and see what you can come up with. Try new combos. Experiment with tucks, and knots and the ole' SSS Rosie Rosette.  Try denim on denim for the first time.  Get the scissors out, and cut the sleeves off a too-small denim jacket.  Go bananas!  

Just when I think my closet is done - dead - dried up, I come up with SOMETHING that reminds me that life is FULL of hidden treasures... if we just know how to look for 'em. 

Stay safe, friends!

xo Stasia  

She told me my body was a "discrepancy". Here's what I told her.

Last week I told you that my pants were bordering on too small, and that it was time to buy new pants.  You wrote back (by the truckload) to say that your pants are ALSO too small, and that you, too, are committed to buying new pants.  You said you're DONE wearing pants that hurt your damn feelings.  

I said it last week and I'll say it again....

Buying pants to fit your body as it changes is not "giving in" or "giving up."
Buying pants to fit your body as it changes is a way of giving LOVE.

When your pants don't fit, it's time to go shopping. 

Clothes do not have the right to hurt your feelings. No way. No how. 

But girl, I know how hard it is to find pants that fit your body in all of its 2000 spots.  I mean, there are about 7 billion ways to have a human body, so finding THE pants that fit YOUR today-body takes good old fashioned effort. 

Not to mention the fact that "sizing" is bullshit. 

This weekend, when I was jean's shopping at J.Crew, the sales-gal asked me what size I wore.  I said... 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32.  

You should have seen the side-eye she gave me!  

I told her that I have jeans THAT FIT from J.Crew that are a size 27.  But that my size 31 J.Crew jeans - IN THE SAME CUT, are too small.  So yea, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32.  

Gals, if you don't know your size, it's not because YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR SIZE.  It's because sizing is bullshit. 

Anyway... 

Because I didn't know my size OR my cut, I eyeballed what I thought my size would be in each style, and went into the changing room with one helluva big pile of jeans.  And I started trying them on.  

No matter what style/cut I tried on (even the style for "curvy girls") I couldn't find a pair that fit me in the hips/thighs AND the waist.  The sales-gal at one point commented on the discrepancy in size between my hips and my waist, and I was like... did you say DISCREPANCY!?  As in, a lack of compatibility? That almost sounds like my body is the problem. 

🤔🤔🤔

Ahhhh, nope!  I told her my body is not the problem, it's the damn pants. She high-fived me, wished me luck, and sent me to Madewell. 

Once I got there, I tried on ALL THE JEANS. And same thing... just right in the hips/thighs, wayyyyy too big in the waist.  If you're on Instagram, you can see all of my Madewell try-ons in my saved stories.  Whew, there were a lot.  

It wasn't until the LAST PAIR I tried on that I found a winner.  I couldn't believe it.  They were black, kicky, cropped, and something I thought I would NEVER wear.  Cropped jeans were a no-way-never for me.  But after getting past my thoughts/rules, I realized I felt AMAZING in them! 

So I bought them, and I haven't taken them off since Sunday! 

Gals, I searched for a pair of jeans that fit my today-body for over a year.  

A YEAR.

I live in rural Vermont so I was looking mostly in thrift stores and the occasional GAP outlet.  But one intentional trip to the mall, and I found a pair. It almost felt too easy! 

Jeans are hard. If you go shopping and you can't find jeans that fit, THAT'S NORMAL.  Go shopping again.  Adjust your expectations.  Do not settle for "good enough" jeans, because your body deserves better. YOU deserve better. The "right jeans" are out there, and those "right jeans" should make you feel saucy and grounded and strong and fierce and whatever other good feelings you wanna feel when you're wearing jeans. 

These jeans make me feel every which way to DISRUPT-Y, and I'm LOVING IT!  

xo Stasia 

PS I’m all about disrupting the status quo when it comes to body shame culture! Read more about shaking things up here!