Sexism. Stereotypes. And the color PINK.
How many of you have a rough relationship with the color PINK? I mean, PINK has historically been filled to the gills with pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys sexism.
For years I thought pink was too "girly", too soft, too innocent to be worn by a grown-ass woman.
If I wanted to be seen as STRONG + EMPOWERED + BOLD, I did NOT want to be seen wearing PINK.
So in my effort to step into my power as a woman and buck stereotypes, I refused to wear pink.
What I didn't realize, though, was that by refusing to wear pink based on the stereotype, I was completely validating the stereotype.
In other words, I was still operating WITHIN the pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys stereotype because I was basing what I wore (or didn't wear) on what other people thought.
THAT'S what a stereotype is, right? An over-generalized BELIEF/THOUGHT by a lot of people, about a certain group of people.
So in order to truly STEP OUTSIDE the stereotype and prejudice that's inherent in the pink-is-for-girls-blue-is-for-boys sexism, I needed to buck the stereotype and decide if I even LIKED pink.
In other words, I had to check in with how pink made me FEEL, outside the stereotype.
So a whole bunch of years ago, I started experimenting with all the shades of pink. And turns out, wearing pink makes me FEEL joy-filled, playful, individuated, tender-hearted, bold, and fiercely-feminine. All feelings that for me, are based in strength and vulnerability and courage.
Stereotype be damned. I LOVE PINK!
Which brings me to last week's #5DayStyleChallenge of wearing PINK for a week!
Day 1 - I thrifted this NEON PINK button down shirt last year, and honestly, I have NO IDEA why neon EVER went out of style in the 80's. I went a little bananas with the accessories, and piled on a neon beaded necklace (HERE), a black leather necklace, and orange earrings (HERE). Now you might look at this accessory-combo and think... "geez, I'm not sure that jewelry GOES together". And to that I say... it goes 'cuz I say it goes!
Day 2 - Pink AND ruffles! When I first saw this sweatshirt at the Goodwill, I laughed out loud because I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. I often do Instagram stories from thrift-store fitting rooms, where I try on all sorts of weird and wild and funny things, and thought sure THIS TOP would make good comedy. The second I put it on I laughed... but then three seconds after that, I realized that OMG I LOVE THIS FREAKIN' TOP!
I battled with myself for about 3 minutes.
I LOVE IT. No I don't. I LOVE IT. No I don't. I LOVE IT.
The fact that it was a pastel pink, ruffled sweatshirt made me feel cheeky and badass and irreverent. But I struggled with the tight crewneck and full length sleeves.
So, I bought it, brought it home, and immediately CUT OUT the neck, and CUT OFF the cuffs.
Hello new favorite!
Day 3 - I was shocked to find that I was running low on pink (I thought I had a lot more), so I had to get creative. I went through all my drawers looking for a pink top, and all I could find was my pajama tank top. And I went for it. I layered my pink pajama top under the lace cardigan I wore for last month's #5DayStyleChallenge, put on the headband from the day before, the necklace from the day before that, and the jeans from every-damn-day, and felt awfully clever and resourceful, wearing my pajamas as clothes-clothes for a whole day!
Day 4. I had to REACH. I went into the basement to see if I had anything PINK tucked away, and heck if I didn't find this blue dress with pink flowers! I didn't wear it last summer because we were off adventuring, hiking in different national parks all over the country, so I had forgotten all about it! The last time I wore it was for my TEDx dress rehearsal in 2018. Whaaat?! It felt awfully fancy for a weekday, but hey, WHY NOT!? Nothing wrong with feeling fancy!
Day 5 - I was outta closet-options, so I went straight to my needs-fixing pile, and pulled out this handmade dress that has about 5 holes in it, right along the seams. Since Vermont is still SHUT DOWN, and I was going to be home all day, I decided to wear the dress, holes and all. You probably noticed that this dress looks like it was MADE for my body, and here's the thing. It was! Meg McElwee from Sew Liberated designed the #StasiaDress a few years ago, and it's a true beauty. Now... if I could just get around to fixing it!
Day 6 - I was having so much darn fun with PINK, I decided to wear my favorite PINK polypro hiking top for a quick jaunt into the mountains!
And just in case you're wondering... yes, I do see the cellulite on my thighs. And no, I'm not ashamed of it.
There was a time though, when I would have DELETED this photo immediately, and sunk into a pool of shame so murky, so deep, so thick with disgust, that it would have taken months, maybe years to recover.
Yes, that's how much I hated my body.
My body hasn't changed since then. My MIND has. Because like I always say, body shame has absolutely NOTHING to do with your body, and EVERYTHING to do with your MIND.
And boy does it feel good to notice a photo like this, and NOT feel shame.
I spent YEARS thinking that the ONLY way to NOT FEEL SHAME in my body... was to FIX my body.
Turns out, I was wrong.
#mybodyisnotaproblem
Aaaand there you have it, my journey with pink for a whole entire week.
Oh, and pssst. Did you notice that as you scrolled from picture to picture, the vibe of each outfit was different than the one before? I used to think that meant I wasn't STYLISH ENOUGH because I couldn't figure out if I liked hiking clothes, fancy dresses, messy hair, giant-ass ruffles, lipstick, or leapord print Vans. I surly couldn't like ALL of those things!! They're so... DIFFERENT!!
But over the years I've come to realize that WE ARE DYNAMIC/COMPLEX HUMAN BEINGS, so OF COURSE how we SHOW UP is gonna change from day to day.
THAT is the DEFINITION OF STYLE if you ask me!
xo Stasia