What You Need to Know About Jean Sizes

If you know me at all, then you know I'm a thrifter, through and through, but every once in a while, I make an exception.

Jeans that fit are HARD TO FIND, so when my body changes and I need a new pair of jeans, I’ll try ‘em on anywhere I can find them.

One day, while out shoe shopping for my kids, I spotted a J.Crew Factory store, and decided to pop in to see what they had.

The store was filled with skinny jeans, which tend not to work on my super-triangle-shaped body, but they did have two pairs of boyfriend jean in stock (literally, two pairs - a size 27 and a size 30), so I grabbed the 30's and gave them a go.

I've been wearing J.Crew jeans for years, and I tend to vacillate between a size 30 and a size 31, so I didn't LOOK at the jeans, I just grabbed the size I thought would work, and headed to the fitting room. But hell if those size 30 jeans were not twice the size of my usual size 30's! I could have fit a watermelon inside those jeans with me!

(In case you're not familiar with these sizes... a size 27 is generally a size 4, and a size 30 is generally a size 10. I range between a size 10 and a size 12 on bottom, so the 30's and 31's are usually just about right for me.)

Anyway, when the 30's didn't fit, I went back to the rack and looked at the size 27's and thought... huh, these LOOK like my size, but they can't be! I tried them on just for the sake of has-vanity-sizing-really-gone-THAT-far and hell if they didn't fit me perfectly!

Gals, I haven’t been a size 4 since I was 16 years old.

The sizing is bullshit.  I am not a size 4.

Hell, I’m not a size anything.  I’m a woman!  Who wears jeans... jeans that are apparently arbitrarily assigned a size number based on unicorn science.

J.Crew's very own sizing chart says that a size 27 fits a woman with a 27 inch waist. My waist is more like... 32 or 33 inches. When it comes to inches-around-a-waist, that's a pretty big difference.

This sizing hiccup is happening all within one brand! But geez, most of us have clothes from a bazillion different brands in our closets. If every brand uses unicorn science to arbitrarily slap a size-number onto an item of clothing, WHY IN HELL DO WE THINK IT MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL TO HANG OUR HUMAN-WORTH ON SUCH A LOOSEY-GOOSEY, MADE-UP NUMBER!?!

Not only do we hang our human-worth on that number... but we DEFINE ourselves by that number. We allow that number to influence whether or not we think we’re beautiful.

Gals, this is nonsense!! YOUR JEANS SIZE MEANS ZERO, ZILCH, NADA.

You’re a phenomenal woman, and you certainly can’t be defined by any size - especially when the sizing is based on pure unicorn science!

I’m not going to let a size 27 thrill me anymore than I'm going to let a size 37 bring me to tears. Size-shmize.

My point. When you go jeans shopping, please remember that the size-numbers are nothing but guess-timations. NOT even estimations... because again, UNICORN SCIENCE.

I know, I know. It's frustrating as all hell. And I can imagine you're probably thinking... jeans shopping is bad enough, now I have to try on every damn size in every damn store because the numbers are all bullshit!?

I get it, but here's the thing... a far better tool to rely on when you're looking at clothes to try on is something that you carry with you every single day - and that’s your EYEBALLS. If you know the general shape and size of your body - then you can figure the general shape and size of the jeans you should be wearing. Think of it like a game of Paper Dolls. (Remember those?!) Visually imagine your body as a paper doll, and then visually imagine what jeans will fit nicely onto your paper doll body. Make sense?

Had I LOOKED at those size 30 jeans with my eyeballs, I would’ve known they were going to be too big for me. But I got lazy, and I relied on the brand being consistent with their sizing. An amateur mistake, I assure you.

If you don't trust your eyeball... then a measuring tape is another good tool to carry with you.

A quick measure of the jeans would have told me that these size 27 jeans will NOT fit a 27" waist, but more like a size 31/32" waist! (plus some slack since I wasn't pulling these out flat)

Bottom line. Don't let jean sizing get you down! Instead, get familiar with your body. Know what your body looks like. Study it. Pay attention to how your body FEELS in the clothes you're wearing. Get yourself nudey and look in a full length mirror from time to time and get used to seeing your own reflection. Collect your body's data. Analyze it. I mean... it's just data. Nothing scary about data! (Fyi, if you’re curious, a huge component of Style School is learning HOW to collect all of the data, body and soul, that holds the key for dressing your one-of-a-kind today body.)

Back to jeans. Don't let those sizes hurt your feelings. Hell, don't let jeans that hurt your body hurt your feelings. Your body is not the problem. It's the damn pants!!

xo Stasia