Wear the Damn Swimsuit

While trekking cross-country on one of our epic summer adventures, I was invited to a July 4th neighborhood pool-party in Fort Collins, Colorado, hosted by my friend’s boyfriend's ex-wife. (Seemingly random, but nothing ever is!)

I put on my cheeky bikini and a cute little dress, walked my fabulous ass right into the pool gates, and then... outta thin air, I came face to face with one of my BIGGEST most POWERFUL self-image-saboteurs. 

FIT-STRONG-MUSCULAR WOMEN. EVERYWHERE. 

It was as if I had just walked onto the set of an Athleta catalog photo-shoot. 

I became dizzy with shame. I immediately had this vision of all the fit-party-people stopping, staring, and chanting BIG LEGS BIG LEGS BIG LEGS BIG LEGS. 

(Thanks thrift-store, body-shamer, for planting THAT in my head!)

It took everything I had to DISRUPT the onslaught of shaming thoughts. 

My body is not a problem.
My body is a good body.
Do not let SHAME hijack you from the anticipated fun and freedom you felt 5 minutes ago.

Once I put down my things, I stood at the pool's edge, heart beating in my ears, and I KNEW I had to take off the damn dress. I knew I had to BE IN MY BODY. I knew I could NOT let SHAME take me down. 

I took a deep breath, slowly slipped off my dress... and nothing happened. Nothing at all. 

There I was, ready to be the center of the most epic ridicule-pool-azza ever to be seen on planet earth, and nobody noticed me.

Talk about anticlimactic!

Once the dress was off, and I recognized the sensational-shame-story for what it was - BULLSHIT - I relaxed and immediately started to feel the ease and freedom I’m accustomed to feeling in my cheeky-bikini. 

And then, outta the blue, I hear... "Stasia?!"

I turned around, and standing right in front of me was a beautiful, bright-eyed woman - a woman I’d never seen before.

"OMG, YOU'RE AT MY POOL!!  I just popped in to drop off my son, and I saw you. I thought, OMG is that STASIA AT MY POOL!  I follow you on Instagram!!  I just had to come say hi! I can't believe you're AT MY POOL.  Don't you live in Vermont? Why are you at my neighborhood pool? Eep! I am sooooo inspired!  You practice what you preach!!  YOU'RE WEARING A BIKINI AT MY POOL!" 

And then my heart started beating in my ears again. OMG-THE-IRONY.

One minute I'm bracing myself for the most epic ridicule-pool-azza ever.  The next I'm standing tall and proud in my cheeky-bikini, taking a picture with my new friend, who I met because I was serendipitously invited to a pool-party by my friend's boyfriend's ex-wife.

People often say to me, “I wish I felt about my body the way that you feel about your body!” or “I’d never be brave enough to wear a bikini!”

But, I’m here to tell you. This didn’t come naturally to me either! No way!

I didn't CURE BODY SHAME by changing my body. I SLAYED IT by intentionally disrupting my shaming thoughts, and reminding myself of something that I understand to be intellectually true: #mybodyisnotaproblem.

In short, I practice.

I PRACTICE disrupting my shame thoughts like a ninja.
I PRACTICE gratitude for my today-body. 
I PRACTICE LOVING and befriending my body.
I PRACTICE setting boundaries that support the way I want to feel in my body.

THIS IS THE WORK, sisters.  You understand that getting good at anything takes practice. Intentional, specific, targeted PRACTICE. And being in your body, in a swimsuit, is no different.

Learning to accept, honor, appreciate and even LOVE your body, doesn’t come easy for most of us! And it’s no wonder! We live in an extremely body shaming culture.

BUT, these beliefs that we hold so tightly as fact, are actually NOT true. And you don’t have to live as if they are.

If you want the culture to change, then you best start changing, because gals, WE ARE THE CULTURE.

It's time to let go of the old self-sabotaging body shame stories that keep you stuck in the muck, and replace them with more loving, more tender, my accepting BELIEFS that support you, not hurt you.

It's a LIFE LONG PRACTICE.  One that enables you to fully integrate hella big TRUTHS into your heart, mind and soul, over the long haul. 

This work of healing body shame, and embodying a confident, joyful, grounded, loving presence takes time and deserves to be taken OFF of a quick-fix timeline. 

We all have body shame. And none of our bodies are actually are problem.

YOU CAN practice and LEARN a new way to relate to your body.

Let’s practice together.

xo Stasia