Top 5 Reasons I LOVE being #styledbymychild

Two weeks ago I did the unthinkable! I let my 8 year old daughter choose my ENTIRE outfit without a peep of input from me. No moaning. No groaning. No suggesting this over that. And the results were fantastic! Exhibit 1:

In fact, we had so much fun together (and I LOVED the outfit) we decided to do it the following week!

Exhibit 2:

And this time, we decided to make it a THING! By that I mean, we've turned it into a weekly series on Facebook and Instagram, where every Monday I'll post a pic of the outfit Raisa selected for me, and we'll use the hashtag #styledbymychild.

TOP 5 REASONS I love being #styledbymychild

1.  Quality Time with My Kid - in the hurry and flurry of life, it's incredibly important for me to set aside non-negotiable mama/child time with Raisa. We both look forward to this time together each week, and it's become something we talk about and look forward to all week long. Memories in the making, people!

2. Kid Confidence - Raisa feels so much pride when I say, "Hey babe, I want YOU to choose my outfit tomorrow, because I trust you'll choose something FABULOUS for me!"  She takes her task VERY seriously!

3. Conversation Starter - I always receive a few sideways glances and friendly smiles when I’m out walking around town with my kid-designed outfit. It’s such a GREAT opportunity to engage in fun, joy-filled conversations with absolute strangers! 

4. Feeling Wildly Courageous - wearing a kid-designed outfit takes guts. It takes WILD, FREE, WHOLE-HEARTED COURAGE. Being courageous takes practice, and this is a great opportunity for me to practice being wildly courageous!

5. Closet Curation - nothing has made me curate my closet faster than having my kid pick out my outfit! When Raisa pulls out those jeans I hate because they’re too damn small, or those orange tights I bought but can’t stand the sight of them… well, it reminds you to GET RID OF THE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

So there you have it! We’ve only done it a few times so far, but I can already this is gonna become a thing. We LOVE it so much! And I have a feeling that this one little exercise is going to change my life, because you can’t flex your BRAVE MUSCLE this much, and not have it change you!

xo Stasia

A Peek Inside My Closet

I LOVE my closet. It's not big. You certainly can't walk into it. It needs a major paint job. I don't use velvet hangers, let alone cherry wood fancy-pants hangers. And only five (yes, 5) things in my closet were purchased brand new (1 - a denim jacket I bought in Slovenia back in 2004, 2 - my favorite Miz Mooz tall brown boots, 3 - my red Dansko clogs which I've had since 2005 and were a gift from my mother, 4 - my Doc Martin boots, that I bought new over 20 years ago, and lastly, 5 - my Hobo wallet, which my husband gave me as a "pushing" gift after I delivered my almost 11-pound son).

People often assume that because I work as a Personal Stylist, my wardrobe and my closet must be HUGE.

Here's my truth:

I use (mostly) plastic hangers that I've picked up either at the dump or at the thrift store (though I do intend to upgrade to velvet hangers someday.) But for now, as long as my hangers are facing in the same direction, my closet isn't over-stuffed, and my clothes are generally categorized (jackets, dresses, shirts - white, gray, black, blues, peach/pink/red) I'm happy.

UPDATE 3/2/20 - I have updated to velvet hangers, and I LOVE THEM!

(And yes, I share the closet with my husband, half and half. His side has all the pinks and purples and baby blues!)

We each have a bureau as well, his and hers:

If I have to struggle even a teensy bit to get a drawer closed due to over-stuffing, something goes. We don't have clothing tucked into other places and spaces... this is it. And if it doesn't fit, we don't keep it.

HIS: Drawers 1 & 2 - undies Drawer 3 - socks Drawers 4 & 5 - t-shirts and long underwear Drawer 6 - pants/jeans

HERS: Drawer 1 - knits and long underwear Drawer 2 - socks and pants/jeans/cords Drawer 3 - sweaters/cardigans, skirts, pj's/hoodies

You can see that I keep my necklaces and bracelets out on display for me to see.  It's a great way to remember to wear them!

I also have my scarves on display... because who wears scarves if they are bunched up in a bin or stuffed in a drawer??  [BRAG - I DIY'ed this scarf display from the side rails of a vintage crib!! My OWN design!!]

And yep, my earrings are also decoratively displayed:

Here's the bottom line ladies: having a walk in closet, $20 hangers, and a wardrobe full of expensive, tags-still-on, brand new clothes doesn't [necessarily] equal a pride-worthy closet.

Having a closet that you love requires something FAR more important:

CURATION!!

In other words, you've got to like... LOVE, what you own. And it MUST be a reflection of who you are on the inside. You've got to get rid of the excess!

It can't be a space you use to fill a void, or a place that's so filled with sadness, longing and guilt that it makes your body ache.

As one of my clients said…

"I'm no longer filling my closet with expensive things to make me feel better. I am the one responsible for my well being, and no fancy pair of boots will bring me the self worth or self confidence I have been searching for. It has to come from inside of me, and making the outside reflect the me I want to be, or already am but just don't realize, is the best gift I could give myself."  

YES YES YES!!

When I open the doors to my closet I feel ABUNDANCE. I don't have a lot, but I like (LOVE!) every single thing that I have, because it's a reflection of who I am on the inside.

My wish for you is that you too are swept with a wave of abundance and resonance every single time you open your closet doors. Because you deserve it.

To YOUR ABUNDANCE!

xo Stasia

TOP 5 REASONS we Keep Stuff in our Closet that we Don't LIKE WANT OR NEED

Today we're going back to basics and talking about the act of LETTING GO! Because if I've heard it once, I've heard it 1000 times...  "I have a closet full of clothes but absolutely NOTHING to wear!"

This sentiment leaves one feeling superficial, shallow and trite.  "How in the world could I have so much stuff in my closet, yet at the same time, feel like I have absolutely nothing to wear." Sometimes, we grown ups even cry and throw grown-up temper-tantrums because we can't find anything to wear.  (Been there.  Done that.)

Lucky for you, I know why you've got a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. And because I was a science major in college, I'm going to break it down for you real scientifically, using advanced statistical analysis.

The problem you face is due to what's called The Pareto Principle, or the 80-20 Rule. Basically, it means that 80% of the output is determined by 20% of the input.

• 80% of the meals you cook come from 20% of your recipes

• 80% of your emails come from 20% of your contacts

• 80% of the comments on my blog come from 20% of my readers

• 80% of the outfits you wear come from 20% of your wardrobe

Did you catch that?  80% of what you wear comes from only 20% of your wardrobe.  That means 80% of your wardrobe is just sitting there, taking up space, not getting worn, and leaving you feeling every which way to GUILTY you can imagine.

It means that you don't even like (or know how to wear) 80% of what you own!

And that's crazy-town. But here's the thing... since I've spent a good deal of time in women's closets, I've learned that we have some pretty damn good reasons (ummm... read, excuses) we hold on to stuff we don't need, like or want. And after lots of consideration, I've come up with the TOP 5 REASONS we Keep Stuff we Don't NEED LIKE OR WANT.

1. But-I'm-Saving-It-For-When-I-Lose-Weight

There is no sure-fire way to get yourself into a bad mood than to stand in front of a closet filled with clothes that are TOO SMALL.All kinds of feelings will come up for you, and I can guarantee this - not one of them will be feelings of creativity, confidence, empowerment and beauty.

Do me a favor, and take all of your too-small clothes out of your closet.NOW!

So you had a smokin' hot body before babies, huh? I believe you. I know it's hard to let go of that memory of yourself. But here's the thing... YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL. AS YOU ARE. RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT.

You don't have to ditch those too-small clothes if you honestly think you might fit into them again (be real with yourself here), but please take them out of the closet and stick them in a bin in your attic.

2. But-I-Paid-A-Lot-For-It

I feel you, but if you don't like whatever it is you paid a lot for, get it the hell out of your closet. It's really that simple. If you want to recoup some of the money you spent, then bring it to a consignment shop or sell it on eBay.

Or, simply let go of it.  Letting go brings its own tidal wave of abundance and riches.

3. But-It-Was-A-Gift

It's simple. There is no room in your closet for stuff you don't like. And let's face it... the only reason you're holding on to it is because you're afraid the gifter might ask you where it is.

NEWSFLASH:  Gift-giving is SUPPOSED to be a selfless act. I know many people don't practice selfless gift giving, but that certainly doesn't mean you have to carry the brunt of someone's inability to give selflessly.

If you can't bare selling or donating it, then think of something special you can do with it.  Can you up-cycle it into something fab? Can you re-gift it to your BFF that raves about it every time she looks into your closet?  Is there a family in need in your community that would love and value and appreciate it?

If you do something noble with that undesirable gift, then giving an explanation as to where it ended up won't hurt so badly.

4. But-I-Might-Need-It-Someday

Maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. But you should be able to count on ONE HAND all of your "someday" pieces. Any more than that is just clutter.

5. But-I-Used-To-Love-It

One word.EXPIRED. It's okay to love something, then not love it any more. Things change. Bodies change. Jobs change. Life changes!A lot of women hold on to clothes from previous careers, because they don't want to let go of that past life. You know… that job where you made lots of money and felt really important.Holding onto your past will not give you validation of your worth today. Just like keeping clothes from your "skinny days" won't make you skinny and sexy and more worthy of love today.

Holding on to WHO YOU WERE will only distract you from fully embracing WHO YOU ARE today. 

If you go through your closet and eliminate everything that falls into the 5 categories above, you will DRAMATICALLY shift the 80-20 rule in your favor.

Don't get into thinking it needs to be an 8-hour monstrous closet clean out event either.

Today, do your socks drawer. Tomorrow, your t-shirt drawer. The day after that, your skirts.And then the next day, your dresses.Until you've gone through EVERY LAST THING you own.

You know that little voice inside your head that's saying you have far more important things to do with your time... recognize it, and then start cleaning out your closet with vigor. And that voice that's telling you to shut up and be happy with what you have... notice it, and then get shit done anyway. There is a demented, selfish, self-deprecating part of all of us that likes us to remain defeated, small, powerless and unworthy by pretending its got our best interest in mind... and it's hogwash. TOTAL HOGWASH.

Once you've gone through everything and have let go of all that clutter, you may or may not have a lot left in your closet. I know after my first major closet clean-out, I had 2 pairs of jeans, a handful of shirts, and a couple of sweaters left... and that was about it. But, GUILT was no longer filling my space. Opportunity was!

So go on, LET GO OF GUILT and create space in your closet for OPPORTUNITY.

xo Stasia

WORDS over RESOLUTIONS

I’ve tried New Year’s resolutions in the past, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never ever completed or succeeded at a single one. Not that I have a fear of commitment… I just can’t maintain the va-va-va-voom required to stick with something that quite frankly is something I’m a wee bit resistant to in the first place, otherwise I’d just do it, and not call it a resolution!  Usually resolutions are “I shoulds”, not “I want from the deepest depths of my soul” and I’m not much good at doing something I really don’t want to do.

So last year I did something different. I said to hell with resolutions, and decided to commit an ENTIRE YEAR to ONE SINGLE WORD. I spent some time prior to the start of 2014, distilling down my number one internal negative-self-talk garbage, and then I set out to view my life’s experiences through that one-word word.

Last year, my word was “VALUE”. I’ve long had this warped correlation in my mind between personal worth and financial worth.  To put it simply... the amount of money you have determines your value as a human. Though I know in my mind that this correlation is totally nuts and doesn’t make any sense, it’s something I’ve struggled with.

It holds me back and makes me play small.

Try starting a biz and charging money for your services when you don’t believe you’re worth it… or even worse, you don’t believe you deserve it.

It. Sucks.

I know I’m good at what I do. I receive the best testimonials, like this one…

I always felt like Stasia had my back and wanted what was best for me. Plus, she’s seriously funny. AND she knows her stuff! I had NO idea getting dressed had so many puzzle pieces… I thought there was something wrong with me!!  But Stasia showed me it just takes a little know how and suddenly you look and feel pulled together and confident. I also didn’t realize how much of myself was being lost by not matching my outside to my inside. That inside-out congruency is NO JOKE! I look WAY more pulled together and I’m using stuff from my own closet! I haven’t spent much money, yet I FEEL like a million bucks!?  Tami H.

And the pictures!! My clients send me THE BEST most brilliant smiling-from-ear-to-ear pictures of themselves, wearing outfits that suit their soul so perfectly it makes my heart sing and my cheeks red hot with pride and joy.

It’s funny how the universe works.

When I set my word, I thought I was setting myself up to be the recipient of all sorts of VALUE. I was thinking that cash would swarm me like a sky full of cicadas.

Ironically, 2014 was the craziest most bas-akward year for me financially. EVERYTHING went wrong. Roof. Cars. Lawnmower. Dishwasher. Snowblower. You name it. It broke.

Or… maybe it wasn’t ironic at all.  Maybe I just needed a money lesson so big that it would really and truly shake the wonky foundation of my money/value belief system.  Apparently I’m not a quick study, so it took something HUGE for me to WAKE UP and smell the damn coffee. And that’s exactly what happened.

I spent the ENTIRE year looking at all of my “bad money luck” experiences through my VALUE lens. Not as easy as it sounds… because first I would scream, then cry, then laugh out of exasperation, then perseverate on my bad luck… THEN I would settle down and look at what was happening through the VALUE lens.

And here is was I learned:

• when you pay for a service, you are not only paying for someone’s skill, but you are paying for their honesty and integrity, and the goodness in their heart.

• once you get on a we-have-bad-luck-negative-nelly-train-to-hell, your prophecy will be fulfilled, over and over again.

• I held myself back tremendously.

• despite my “bad luck” and plummeting bank account, kindness and generosity poured into my life… so much so, that my eyes would wiggle inside my head because I couldn’t believe all of the human goodness I was experiencing.

Broke. But valued.  WHOA.

I finally got it. But only because I was paying attention.

So this year, I’ve got a new word. BRAVE.

In the past several weeks, I’ve come to realize that I have two brands of brave.

I-KNOW-I-CAN-BUT-PRETEND-I-CAN’T BRAVE Sometimes I KNOW I can do something, but for some reason, I shroud it with negative, “I can’t do that / no-way jose” self-talk, even though I know deep inside that it’ll be okay. It’s like I’m afraid of my own bravert, so I hide it behind negativity and pessimism. Good God.  Why in hell do I do that?  I need to stop it.

I’M-TOO-DAMN-SCARED-AND-I-WON’T BRAVE But then there are times when I am afraid of doing something because I’m afraid I might fail and/or somebody might laugh at me and/or people will judge me. So I don’t do it at all, and I come up with every excuse in the book to NOT do it.

I want to look at my life’s experiences in 2015 through the lens of BRAVE, and see what comes up. I want to recognize my patterns and bad habits and practice new ways of thinking about things. When I feel like a chicken, I want to let out a big slobbering can’t-breathe gasp, then do it anyway. And if I can’t do it in the moment, I want to understand why.

It’s a year long cumulative task in being a good brave courageous human.  And I’m ready!

We all have shiz we can work on… and I’m choosing to work on something that I know is holding me back. Except, it’s almost like it’s not work, because my brain is thinking all the time anyway. I’m just giving it a filter to think through.

I want to encourage you to choose ONE WORD that will act as your life experience filter.  A lens you can look through as you journey through 2015.  What’s holding you back?  What are you afraid of?  How are you sabotaging yourself?  What are you lacking?  CHOOSE THAT.

With Love… and BRAVERY, Stasia

Do these pants make my butt look BIG?

You know just as well as I do that this is a weighted question, and the thought of having to answer this question puts people into an anxiety induced temporary state of shock… their heart rate increases, their brow begins to sweat, they experience rapid and shallow breathing, nausea and lightheadedness. They may even become weak at the knees and need to sit down. (Alright maybe that's a little melodramatic but you get the point!)

Why? Because no simple YES or NO answer will do.

If one answers YES to this question, it can drop us to our knees with feelings of irreparable inadequacy and a huge plummet in self esteem.

If one answers NO, we immediately don’t trust our informant and assume they are only saying NO to protect us from the feelings of irreparable inadequacy that I mentioned above.

This is why what I’m about to share is going to ROCK YOUR WORLD!

My husband came up with a fool-proof, completely objective, blame-it-on-the-pants-not-your-butt method of answering this question, and it’s a marriage saver!

We use a rating system.

My husband knows full-well what my derriere looks like, so the system is based on what is already known to be true - the actual size of my tush.

The PANTS (or jeans, skirt, dress) can either…

1.  Make my butt look smaller than it actually is.
2. Make my butt look its actual size.
3. Make my butt look bigger than it actually is.

Do you see what’s happening here… all judgement is placed on the PANTS, and NOT on my butt!!

There are all kinds of contributors that affect what your butt looks like in a pair of pants. Things like… pocket size, pocket placement, rise, color, embellishments, inseam length, fading, etc. change the visual perspective, big time. So it makes sense to take the onus off your booty, and place it where it belongs, ON THE PANTS.

Here’s how the rating system is put into practice:

Rating of 1 (butt looks smaller than it is) - These 3 pairs of pants fit into the “butt looks smaller” category, and not gonna lie, that does NOT hurt my feelings.

Rating of 2 (butt looks it’s actual size) - If they fell good and I love everything about them, then I’m sold, because I’m okay with m'tush looking like m'tush because it is, after all, m'tush.

Rating of 3 (butt looks bigger than it is) - sorry, no pictures to show you, because I don’t buy pants that make my butt look bigger than my butt. My measurements are 30 - 30 - 40 so my butt is already stealing the show!

Do you see how brilliant this is?? There is no YES or NO required with 10,000 strings attached. There is simply a scale, based on factual, known, true, non-subjective data.

If you don’t believe in the success of this rating system, just listen to what my husband has to say:

“Honesty, integrity and dealing with conflict are some of my strengths. But answering “Yes, those jeans make your butt look big,” regardless of how honest this was, always seemed to bring unnecessary conflict. So in an effort to creatively resolve this conflict I’ve designed and patented (United States Patent #147329) this classic rating-system-response that works effortlessly. Stasia no longer dreads the response but actually solicits it as valuable information to help make purchases, decide what to wear to a party, etc. I encourage you to share this with your significant other. You’ll both be forever grateful!”

So go on, propose this new rating system to that special person in your life if you'd like an honest-to-goodness answer to the question, "Do these pants make my butt look big?".

xo Stasia

Caught In a Trap

I'm not proud to say it, but TWICE this week I didn't comb my hair, brush my teeth (until bed time), or wash my face. And nope, it's not because I was in an emotional funk. Or because I was sad or depressed or angry.

I got dressed in my favorite jeans and hot pink J.Crew sweater (yes, I wore the same thing two days in a row), but I STILL didn't have the energy or desire to pull my head (hair, teeth, face) together. This confused me. It was SO unlike me to wear a tried and true power outfit, and still not have the oomph to even brush my teeth!!

Since it's my job to figure out this kind of style-conundrum, I quickly treated this experience as a very highly classified investigative psychological case study. And here's what I came up with.

I was "CAUGHT IN A TRAP".

Because as it turns out, those favorite jeans, stripy button down shirt and hot pink cardi have turned into a... UNIFORM.

I mean look, I have FIVE HOT PINK CARDIGANS, and I wear them with the same ruffle-shirts and jeans, every-single-time!

It was an outfit I could put on without much thought, knowing it had proven itself to be a winner. I figured that if it made me feel good last year, then it would make me feel good this year too. To my surprise, quite the OPPOSITE happened.

I felt uncreative, boring, and flat.

Using my investigative analytical powers of deduction, I realized that the outfit had reached its expiry date! Big time. It became a default, has-been, closet-combo. The newness had worn off. The creativity and fire and spark - GONE.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL. I NEED TO MIX THINGS UP!

The daily uniform has to go.

I could go on a shopping spree and buy a new thrifted wardrobe for under $100, but I know that I've got good pieces to work with, so I just need to GET CREATIVE!

So here's what WE are going to do TOGETHER:

(NOTE - this is old, from when I had my Thrift Me Pretty blog, but the concept here is a good one!)

Yep, we're going to do a Thrift Me Pretty USE-WHAT-YOU-GOT 14-Day Style Challenge.

You see all those songs up there, we're going to use THOSE as our outfit inspiration each day. I figured since I was "caught in a trap" (Elvis Presley, Suspicious Minds, BEST SONG EVER) that a little lyrical inspiration was in order.

And I figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander... because I KNOW I'm not the only one feeling stuck.

Style challenges are not revolutionary... you've likely seen them floating around on social media. But, there’s a reason they’re popular. It’s because THEY WORK!

HOW A STYLE CHALLENGE WORKS:

1. Take a screen shot of this graphic and save it on your desktop or your phone for easy 14-day reference. 2. Use your very own interpretation of the daily lyrical style cue to inspire your outfit-of-the-day. Think era, artist, title, lyrics. Whatever moves you!
3. BE CREATIVE!! Wicked, wicked creative.

Feeling self conscious? Grab a co-worker and do it together.
Don’t like my song choices? Create our own play-list.
Worried you need MORE than a Style Challenge to find your groove? Sign up for Style School!

We do Style Challenges like this EVERY.SINGLE.DAY in Style School, and let me tell you, they are FUN when done in community!

LOVE, Stasia

5 EASY Steps to Hand Wash your DRY CLEAN ONLY sweaters

A few weeks ago I wrote a post on 2 Easy Tips for Transforming your Wardrobe from Summer to Fall… remember? I love taking my summer underlayers, and throwing on a sweater to warm me during the brisk early autumn mornings of September and October. Most of my sweaters have been sitting in my bottom drawer, or in a plastic bin in my basement since summer, so at the start of the fall season, I like to freshen up my woolie cardigan collection by giving them a nice hand wash and line dry. As I pulled out my collection of cardigans, I noticed a theme.

Yep, I have 5 hot pink cardigan sweaters (and three of those ruffled shirts and three of those exact jeans... but who's counting!).  I like what I like.

And double YEP. I HAND WASH and LINE DRY my very special, very delicate, quite expensive (if they were new… but of course mine are all thrifted) DRY CLEAN ONLY wool sweaters.

I don’t dry clean. And here’s why:

1.  It’s pricey. 2.  Believe it or not, we don’t even have a dry cleaner in my town anymore! And even when we did, something always got in the way of my drop off/pick up routine. I either couldn’t find parking, didn’t have a quarter for the meter, or more common… I forgot the item I wanted to have dry cleaned on the kitchen counter. 3.  And most importantly… IT’S GROSS. Here’s what Wikipedia says about Dry Cleaning:

"Dry cleaning is any cleaning process for clothing and textiles using a chemical solvent other than water. The solvent used is typically tetrachloroethylene(perchloroethylene), which the industry calls "perc" or "PERC". Hydrocarbon is also one of the upcoming solvents used for dry-cleaning as it is safe, less flammable and has less smell. It is used to clean delicate fabrics that cannot withstand the rough and tumble of a washing machine and clothes dryer; it can also eliminate labor-intensive hand washing."

TETRA-what?? Solvents? The article uses the word “hazardous waste” and “carcinogenic” more times than I care to count. And really… “labor-intensive hand washing”? In other words… we dry clean wool sweaters using a toxic soup of solvents that pollute our bodies, our air and our water because hand-washing is too “labor-intensive”?

Bah.

For most of my life, I avoided any and all garments with a DRY CLEAN ONLY tag. I didn’t want to deal with the hassle, the cost, or the chemicals! But then I went thrifting, and found the most lovely J.Crew cashmere sweater for only $4, I decided to take a $4 risk and wash the dry-clean-only sweater in my kitchen sink. And I am sooo glad I did!!

My technique has improved since the olden days, when my sweaters would come out clean and smelling fresh, BUT a little bit misshapen and a big bit droopy. Since then, I’ve improved my technique and now implement a special move I like to call THE ROLL + SQUEEZE.

Check it.

Here are my 5 easy handwashing steps:

1. Fill a sink or basin with cool water and Woolite* (follow product directions for correct dosage) and submerge into the water. Let your sweater soak for 5 minutes. Don’t be alarmed if the sweater “bleeds” into the water. Totally normal. (*To be honest, I NEVER use Woolite. Instead I end up using a gentle detergent I already have kicking around, like my son’s baby shampoo. Works like a charm.)

2. Swoosh your sweater around in the sudsy water, drain, refill with cool water, swoosh some more, drain and refill - and so on - until the sweater is suds-free.

3.  Squeeze water from the sweater, starting at the top and working your way down - DO NOT WRING!

4.  Place a thick, clean, dry towel on a flat surface, lay your sweater on the towel, then roll your sweater up into the towel while performing a squeezing-like motion as you roll, thereby removing any excess water trapped in the fibers.  This, my friends, is THE ROLL + SQUEEZE, and is the most important step of the entire process!  The sweater should feel almost dry after THE ROLL AND SQUEEZE.  If your sweater is heavy and wet when you hang it on the clothes drying rack or lay it on a flat surface to dry (Step 5), one of two things will happen: It will either get droopy from the extra water weight, or it will take days to dry and will get stinky.  Both - no good.

5.  Place the sweater on a drying rack or lay it on a flat sunny surface to dry, being careful to maintain the sweater’s natural shape.  Do not stretch and pull and yank.  Your sweater will look funny if you do, and you’ll need to start over.

Voila!  Clean fresh smelling sweater that looks like new!  No tetrachloroethylene.  No additional cost to you.  No pick-up/drop-off routine to worry about!  And really... the entire process took only minutes! Labor intensive???  I think not.

So, for all you eco-conscious, woolie loving gals out there, share this post with a friend and help keep the tetrablahblahblah out of our bodies, soil and waterways!

Lots of Eco-Love, Stasia

PS.  I hand wash all of my DRY CLEAN ONLY dresses too. And pants. And shirts. And couch cushions. And I've never ruined anything.  I haven't tried hand washing something like leather though, so try that at your own risk.  In fact, this is a total try-at-your-own-risk tutorial.  Since I thrift, my financial risk is never greater than $5.  Your risk may be more substantial.

2 Easy Tips for Transitioning Your Wardrobe from Summer to Fall

When I talk about transitioning my wardrobe from summer to fall, I DON'T mean packing up my summer threads and hauling out totes full of cool weather wear for the autumnal days to come. No way. Instead, I swap out my necklaces for scarves and my sandals for boots.  And then, I layer. My seasonal transition is done primarily through the changing of accessories and the addition of layers. I have a very limited wardrobe, and I intend to keep it that way. I don't have a line of summer dresses, fall dresses, winter dresses and spring dresses. Nope. I have dresses. And I transition them from season to season to season to season with an accessory switch and a layer. Here's why:

1. It's WAY more economical to have a handful of base pieces that you can transition through the seasons, than a whole lotta seasonal pieces that need to be packed and unpacked every couple of months.

2. I don't like a lot of "stuff".  Stuff clogs my brain.

3. I don't have time in my busy mama-life to haul out my summer for my fall for my winter for my spring.

4. Clothing goes in and out of favor very quickly (trends, weight gain, weight loss) so I like to wear a piece until it's thread bare, then replace it with something fresh and new (to me) without any I-only-wore-it-three-times guilt.

So today I'm going to show you how I transitioned one very versatile $5 American Eagle Goodwill dress through three seasons with a few accessory changes and the addition of layers.

LOOK 1

Late Spring/Summer - First of all, I LOVE this dress! One, I didn't need to get it altered, which is something I usually need to do with dresses because of my triangle shape. And two, the lacy upper bodice of the dress makes my shoulders look wider than they actually are, making me look proportionally balanced from head to toe.  Oh magic.  I love you. I paired the dress with a vintage necklace and a pair of gold sandals and voila - instant spring/summer cuteness.

LOOK 2

Late Summer - To transition the dress to late summer, I added a light weight cardigan sweater and swapped out the sandals for a pair of Timberland brown ankle boots.  I usually stay away from ankle boots because they tend to make my legs look short, but because the dress is high waisted and the bottom hem is a few inches above the knee (showing lots of skin), my legs look proportional to my body. Yay - because I LOVE the look of ankle boots!

LOOK 3

Early Fall - This picture was overexposed so I did some fancy color editing to make it look badass.  Which is good, because I felt a little badass when I paired the lace smock with a denim jacket, my Miz Mooz dark brown leather boots and a leather wrist cuff.  If it were chilly, I'd throw on a cream colored scarf and button the jacket. (Note - If you don't have a denim jacket - GET ONE. They are the ultimate layering piece and are chock full of sass!)

LOOK 4

Late Fall - I swapped out the dark brown boots for a borrowed pair of vintage Frye boots (my dream boots, by the way, that I'm patiently waiting to find second hand) and a newly thrifted GAP velour blazer.  Then, I layered on a metallic scarf for additional volume, sass and warmth.

So there it is. One dress, a few layers, and a handful of accessories. Taking me through the seasons!

Next time you head out clothes shopping, ask yourself this...

"Will this piece transition me through the seasons with an accessory change and the addition of layers?"

If not, give it a second thought. Work to create simplicity in your wardrobe.

And keep in mind, ACCESSORIES STAND THE TEST OF TIME! Invest in them, because you'll likely have them for ages. I keep my boots, shoes, scarves, necklaces, jackets and handbags in circulation far longer than my t-shirts, jeans and dresses.  And remember that post I wrote a few weeks ago about Discovering Your Power Accessory??  Yea, they are THAT important.

Over the last few weeks I've provided you with lots of fashion fodder, and I know you're thinking about it, because I'm hearing you talk about it.  Through comments, messages, emails, and my favorite... when you stop me on the street and say "GUESS WHAT - I figured out my Power Accessory!".

But I know some of you are feeling overwhelmed. You love the information. But you're unsure how to put it to practice.

Do you need help discovering your Power Accessory? Are you confused as to which necklace length is right for you? Do you want a hand creating "transition" outfits using the things you already own? Are you craving Inside-Out Congruency, but don't know where to start?

Yea, Well then I'm YOUR gal! 

We cover all this stuff in Style School, and you’ll have a chance to practice practice practice with a sisterhood of women who are doing the same work! It’s not just inspiring, but wicked fun too!

To your Beauty + Vibrancy!

xo Stasia

Discovering your POWER Accessory

What do...Kate Middleton’s fascinators; Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth; Abraham Lincoln’s top hat; Audrey Hepburn’s red lipstick; Mr. T’s gold chains; and Batman’s utility belt...all have in common?

Each fancy-pants person on this list (either real or fictional) has a Power Accessory. Their Power Accessories are so iconic in fact, that I don’t even need to show you a picture. Your mind’s eye already did that for you.

Would Mr. T "Pity the Fool" without all of his gold chains?  I doubt it.

POWER ACCESSORY: an item that can be added to your daily ensemble in order to make you feel more confident, put together, and self assured (aka - super powered).

You'll never believe me when I tell you that I coined and defined the term myself!! Go ahead. Google it. There’s nothing! (I have to say, as a budding stylist that’s trying to make her mark, this TOTALLY makes me feel legit.)

I'm sure you've heard of statement accessories. They are marketed toward women so they can feel less ordinary and mundane and more unique and interesting. All good. But I’m taking it a step further. Your Power Accessory doesn’t need to be a statement accessory… it could be as innocuous as a fancy bra, or as bold as a top hat. To qualify as a Power Accessory - it needs to give YOU power, and it has to suit your soul (not anybody else's). Trend and popularity and coolness need not apply.

Let me tell you about the time I discovered that I had a Power Accessory.

Once upon a time, I went to Walmart.  As soon as I walked through the doors, people started making eye contact with me - smiling at me - nodding at me. I even got a few winks! As I made my way through the aisles, I could not believe how much attention I was getting. In my experience, Walmart shoppers and staff do not rank high in the super-friendly department (except for the Walmart Greeter). I honestly wondered if people were mistaking me for somebody famous. I cashed out. Walked to my car. And sat in the driver’s seat in wonder. I looked in the mirror to see if I had kale in my teeth or a hummingbird in my hair - but nothing. Except, I WAS wearing this hot-pink, big-bead necklace I had recently picked up at the Salvation Army for 99 cents. Something I had never worn before. Hmmm I wondered. Could it be the necklace??

Having a background in science, I immediately decided to conduct a mini-experiment.

So I took the necklace off, and walked right back into the store. Except this time, nobody looked at me. Nobody made eye contact. Nobody stared. I was invisible. I walked around and around, and nothing. I left the store in total amazement.

I exuded something powerful in that hot pink 99-cent necklace. People noticed me. But why?

The necklace fit my features, suited my coloring, and was a perfect reflection of my character and personality (what I refer to as Inside-Out Congruency). And, it was thrifted, so I could wear it in good conscious, knowing it was representative of my values. But what else...

Magic.  That's all I can think of.  Pure INSIDE-OUT magic.

When I got back in the car, I put on my 99-cent POWER BEADS, and drove home reveling in my new magic, and it totally changed my life.

I know I know. I sound like a total cheeseball. But listen…

I discovered that I had a Power Accessory!! And that’s a BIG DEAL.

So now when I shop, I ALWAYS look for Power Beads. Not any necklace will do. If it doesn't make me feel mighty when I first put it on, then it's just a plain ole ordinary necklace.

When I need to buck up. Feel good. Be confident. Get people’s attention. I put on my Power Beads. When I’m feeling washed out. Defeated. Worn down. Exhausted. I put on my Power Beads. When I just want to feel good (like… everyday). I put on my Power Beads.

First Date. Job Interview. Childbirth. Meeting with the commissioner. Parenting (!!!). Anniversary. Doctor’s appointment. 10 loads of laundry. DMV. Wearing a bikini. Cooking breakfast with two kids yanking at your shirt tail, in 90 degree heat, while your eggs are burning, and they are late for school.

Basically. Life. There are always at least 15 times a day when I need to tap into my superpowers. That’s why I wear a Power Accessory EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Heck, I even wear my Power Accessories when I’m giving birth and catching frogs!

Do you have a Power Accessory? You may have one, but have never realized it. You might even have one, but are saving it “for best” (if this is true - STOP IT - now is the best time!!).

If you HAVE NOT discovered your Power Accessory yet, here is your homework:

1. Take an accessory inventory - socks, bras, purses, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings, hair bows, hats, barrettes, shoes, scarves, bow ties, lipstick, etc. Remember, it doesn't need to be a trendy statement accessory. Go outside the box here! 2. Take a good hard look at all of your accessories, try them on, take note of how you FEEL in them. If something makes you feel like a ROCK STAR, then that's probably your power accessory. And you should be wearing it, or a variation of it, ALL THE TIME.

Don't be suprised if you come up with more than one. Though my Power Beads are my #1 Power Accessory, I would say scarves rank a close second.  I also have a great Gorin Bros. hat that I just love, and a leather cuff that makes me feel wicked cool.

Now that I've marveled you with my excellent stylist prowess, tell me all about YOUR best Power Accessory! If you haven't figured it out yet, don't fret. Give it some time, THEN please please please come back and tell me all about it! If you're on Instagram or Facebook, take a picture and TAG ME!

To your Super Power!!

xo Stasia

My Perfect Imperfection

Early this spring, local Vermont photographer, Liz Lavorgna of Core Photo, asked if I'd like to be a part of a photography and spoken word project she's working on called Perfect Imperfection. As she described the project, I knew immediately that this was something I needed to participate in. And I knew exactly what my Perfect Imperfection was going to be.

30 x 29 x 39

Those are my measurements.

My perfect IMPERFECTION.

In high school I was skinny. People would bump into me and say OUCH, I JUST GOT A PAPER CUT. My nickname was STICK. I was fit, strong and I ate a ton. I would drink high calorie weight gain drinks and pound the ice cream, but could never gain a pound. At almost 5'7'' I hovered around 100 pounds.

In my late teens, my hips, butt and thighs settled onto my body, and in my early 20's, I started to get CELLULITE. I had gained some weight (which was very good!), and was up to about 120 pounds, and I swear every pound I gained was fat. I was going to the gym 6 or 7 days a week, mixing my cardio with weight training, and still couldn't shake the dimples. My trainer's explanation was simple: It's in the genes. I stopped wearing bathing suits. I transitioned into board shorts. I was thin and strong everywhere else, so I could hide my “imperfection”.

My hips continued to grow throughout my 20's and early 30's, and the cellulite started migrating down my thighs. It was like I had two different bodies. From the waist up I was skinny (like, count my ribs skinny). From the waist down I had visible cellulite, even though my pant size was probably a size 4/6.

It was odd. I was Skinny-Fat.

And it was hard to be skinny-fat. When people looked at me, they would assume I was thin (and without fat). And the thing is, I was thin. But fatty.

Expectations and assumptions were always crushed. I could see it in people's faces when I went to the beach, or wore short shorts.

I just read a great article in the online magazine, Everyday Feminism, called "Let's Talk About Thin Privilege". The premise of the article is that YES, it can hurt your feelings to be picked on and made fun of because of your thin-ness. However, suffering from a grievance is far different than systematic oppression. Name calling sucks. But being at the sh*t-end of a societal shame-stick is way worse. Once the sting of name calling wears off, you're ok. But oppression follows you, wherever you go.

I've dealt with both. The skinny comments fall into the grievance category. No real stigma attached to that. Feelings get hurt, but I get over it. However, having cellulite certainly fits into the societal shame category. And being teased about it penetrates to the core.

HOW TO FIGHT CELLULITE headlines blast magazines. There are quick fixes, special creams and outrageous diets. There is name calling. Tabloids denigrate movie stars at the slightest hint of a pucker or dimple.

So yea, I'm talking about it. Being skinny-fat has been hard.

My PERFECT Imperfection.

Things started to change, slowly at first, with the birth of my first child. MY BODY GREW A HUMAN!! I knew bodies grew humans, but I didn't get how unbelievable it was until I did it myself. And then, MY BODY BIRTHED THIS HUMAN!! Naturally. And I thought it was AWESOME. I developed a special admiration for my body after that.

For years I held this quiet admiration, though I still struggled with body image and skinny-girl expectations. And for the life of me, I couldn't find jeans that fit both my butt and my waist, or shirts that didn't have baggy darts.

Then in 2013 my son was born. He weighed in at 10 pounds 11 ounces, and I birthed him naturally. [APPLAUSE] As it turns out, my hips - these hips I had cursed for many years - were just the right size for me to deliver my beautiful whopping son. Moments after the nurses weighed him I declared - I will NEVER EVER curse my hips again. They are mighty. They are powerful. They are PERFECT!!

They are my PERFECT IMPERFECTION.

Even on days when I'm feeling particularly sensitive about my body (always on beach days), I have the wonderful gift of motherhood to remind me of how incredible my body really is.

And over the years, I've learned how to dress my shape so I feel balanced, despite my measurements.

Plus, the last thing I want to do is shame my perfectly imperfect body in front of my kids. My daughter was born with a number of physical differences… so what the heck kind of role model/mother would I be if I condemned my “imperfections” in front of her???

Because I think SHE'S perfect.  (Wouldn't you agree?)

How about you? If someone asked you to choose YOUR PERFECT IMPERFECTION, what would you say? And how long has it taken you to go from seeing it as a perfect IMPERFECTION to a PERFECT imperfection? It doesn't need to be about body image. The options, as we are human, are endless. I encourage you to think on this one if something doesn't pop right into your mind. Even write about it. Unpacking these stories is freeing, and is where true healing begins.

To grace, power and beauty.

xo Stasia