What Your Jeans Size Says About You

If you know me at all, then you know I'm a thrifter, through and through, but every once in a while, I make an exception.

Jeans that fit are HARD TO FIND, so when my body changes and I need a new pair of jeans, I’ll try ‘em on anywhere I can find them.

One day, while out shoe shopping for my kids, I spotted a J.Crew Factory store, and decided to pop in to see what they had.

The store was filled with skinny jeans, which tend not to work on my super-triangle-shaped body, but they did have two pairs of boyfriend jean in stock (literally, two pairs - a size 27 and a size 30), so I grabbed the 30's and gave them a go. 

I've been wearing J.Crew jeans for years, and I tend to vacillate between a size 30 and a size 31, so I didn't LOOK at the jeans, I just grabbed the size I thought would work, and headed to the fitting room. But hell if those size 30 jeans were not twice the size of my usual size 30's!  I could have fit a watermelon inside those jeans with me!

(In case you're not familiar with these sizes... a size 27 is generally a size 4, and a size 30 is generally a size 10.  I range between a size 10 and a size 12 on bottom, so the 30's and 31's are usually just about right for me.)

Anyway, when the 30's didn't fit, I went back to the rack and looked at the size 27's and thought... huh, these LOOK like my size, but they can't be!  I tried them on just for the sake of has-vanity-sizing-really-gone-THAT-far and hell if they didn't fit me perfectly! 

Gals, I haven’t been a size 4 since I was 16 years old.  

The sizing is bullshit.  I am not a size 4.  

Hell, I’m not a size anything.  I’m a woman!  Who wears jeans...  jeans that are apparently arbitrarily assigned a size number based on unicorn science. 

J.Crew's very own sizing chart says that a size 27 fits a woman with a 27 inch waist.  My waist is more like... 32 or 33 inches.  When it comes to inches-around-a-waist, that's a pretty big difference.

This sizing hiccup is happening all within one brand!  But geez, most of us have clothes from a bazillion different brands in our closets.  If every brand uses unicorn science to arbitrarily slap a size-number onto an item of clothing, WHY IN HELL DO WE THINK IT MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL TO HANG OUR HUMAN-WORTH ON SUCH A LOOSEY-GOOSEY, MADE-UP NUMBER!?!

Not only do we hang our human-worth on that number... but we DEFINE ourselves by that number.  We allow that number to influence whether or not we think we’re beautiful.

Gals, this is nonsense!! YOUR JEANS SIZE MEANS ZERO, ZILCH, NADA.

You’re a phenomenal woman, and you certainly can’t be defined by any size - especially when the sizing is based on pure unicorn science!  

I’m not going to let a size 27 thrill me anymore than I'm going to let a size 37 bring me to tears.  Size-shmize.  

My point.  When you go jeans shopping, please remember that the size-numbers are nothing but guess-timations.  NOT even estimations... because again, UNICORN SCIENCE. 

I know, I know.  It's frustrating as all hell.  And I can imagine you're probably thinking... jeans shopping is bad enough, now I have to try on every damn size in every damn store because the numbers are all bullshit!? 

I get it, but here's the thing... a far better tool to rely on when you're looking at clothes to try on is something that you carry with you every single day - and that’s your EYEBALLS.  If you know the general shape and size of your body - then you can figure the general shape and size of the jeans you should be wearing.  Think of it like a game of Paper Dolls.  (Remember those?!)   Visually imagine your body as a paper doll, and then visually imagine what jeans will fit nicely onto your paper doll body.  Make sense? 

Had I LOOKED at those size 30 jeans with my eyeballs, I would’ve known they were going to be too big for me.  But I got lazy, and I relied on the brand being consistent with their sizing.  An amateur mistake, I assure you. 

If you don't trust your eyeball... then a measuring tape is another good tool to carry with you. 

A quick measure of the jeans would have told me that these size 27 jeans will NOT fit a 27" waist, but more like a size 31/32" waist!  (plus some slack since I wasn't pulling these out flat)

Bottom line.  Don't let jean sizing get you down!  Instead, get familiar with your body.  Know what your body looks like.  Study it.  Pay attention to how your body FEELS in the clothes you're wearing.  Get yourself nudey and look in a full length mirror from time to time and get used to seeing your own reflection.  Collect your body's data.  Analyze it.  I mean... it's just data.  Nothing scary about data!  (Fyi, if you’re curious, a huge component of Style School is learning HOW to collect all of the data, body and soul, that holds the key for dressing your one-of-a-kind today body.)

Back to jeans.  Don't let those sizes hurt your feelings.  Hell, don't let jeans that hurt your body hurt your feelings.  Your body is not the problem.  It's the damn pants!!  

xo  Stasia   

National Park Tour: What I packed for our 2-month, cross-country camping trip!

On June 21st, 2017, we packed our family-of-four in a little Toyota Prius and headed out on a two-month, cross-country, National Park Tour. Our plan was to hit 10 - 15 parks out west, and camp out all along the way. 

So that's 2 months, 14 parks, 9500 miles... with 4 people in a Prius. 

But let me step back a bit and give you a little backstory as to HOW and WHY we made this happen.

Last year, when my daughter was a third grader, I learned about the Every Kid In a Park pass program, which allows all 4th graders in the US (and their families) FREE access to all federally managed lands and waters - which includes ALL of our nation's National Parks and National Monuments. (To learn more about this initiative, started by President Obama in 2015, click HERE.)

You can actually buy a National Park pass for around $80 so it wasn't a gigantic savings, but what it did was give me the idea.  I had never ever dreamed of doing a National Park Tour before, and then all of a sudden, it was all I could think about.

What a gift this would be to my kids!  We would spend two full months together, outdoors, uninterrupted by work and laundry and toilet-bowl cleaning!

Then came the logistics. Could we do a trip like this in a Prius? Could we afford to take two months off from work? How in hell would all of our camping gear and clothes fit in such a small car? And will my husband's work EVER give him the time off? 

But you never know until you try... so we talked about it like it was going to happen for MONTHS, and then in the late spring, my husband submitted a proposal to his company, and hell if they didn't say GO FOT IT!!  

When we got the YES, we were shocked, realizing that we were really DOING IT! 

We did some rough planning, made a few camping reservations, and then before we knew it, it was time to go.

We're the last-minute type, so naturally we started packing the night before we left. 

We joked with the kids, telling them they could each bring one pair of underpants and that's it... and let me tell you, that's not far from the truth. 

SPACE. WAS. LIMITED.

We did buy a Thule rack for the top of the car so we could jam all of our camping gear up there (1 tent, 4 sleeping bags, 4 sleeping pads, 4 camping pillows, 4 chairs, 4 backpacks), but the itty-bitty back of the car had to hold all of our clothes for multiple climates (hats, fleece and rain gear, along with bathing suits, shorts and t-shirts), our cooler, all of our kitchen gear (plates, cups, bowls, table-cloth, silverware, cutting board, pots, pans, french-press, dish pan, detergent, etc.), our bathroom stuff and our dry-goods/food bin. And our mini pharmacy + first aid kit. And water. And a gajillion water bottles. And my solar shower because I WILL NOT go to bed without taking a shower first. A pile of turkish towels. And a couple of battery-operated fans. And books books books and more books. 

Up until 3 minutes before we left, we had NO IDEA how it was all going to fit. 

And just to give you a little perspective... we allowed ourselves two (2!!) carry-on sized bags... for all of our clothes, FOR TWO MONTHS!!

Let me show you what made the cut for my quarter-section of carry-on space... for better or for worse.

ACCESSORIES

You all know I'm a HUGE fan of earrings, so yes, I brought 7 pairs of them on my camping trip. As far as I'm concerned, earrings are THE BEST way to add BOLD to any outfit when it's hotter-than-hot outside because they don't touch your skin. 

TOP LEFT - Leah Pastrana
TOP RIGHT - Allison Korn Designs
BOTTOM LEFT - Nickel and Suede
BOTTOM RIGHT - handmade by a girlfriend

I brought two light-weight necklaces that can be worn long or layered together for some added fun! 

LEFT - found at an arts-market
RIGHT - Megan Auman

I ALSO brought a couple of leather cuffs... because I LOVE them, and 3 scarves (make that 2, the striped one didn't fit), because there is nothing worse than air-conditioner-neck!  Plus, adding a patterned scarf is a great way to add whim and whimsy to any fit!  

BRACELETS - handmade by a girlfriend
SCARVES - pink polka dots (ebay), pink stripe (purchased in Turkey circa 2004), and the blue chambray is from Aventura Clothing

CLOTHING

Here's where the picking gets SLIM!

Town / light hiking clothes

• 5 dresses (3 handmade-for-me patterned dresses + 2 plain colored dresses from Aventura Clothing that were both antimicrobial, which means you can wear them for days and not get stinky!)

• 1 pair of under-the-dress shortie-leggings

• 1 jean jacket

• 1 pair of sandals

Outdoorsy hiking clothes

• 3 skorts

• 2 t-shirts

• 1 hoodie + 1 long underwear top

• 1 bathing suit

• 1 baseball cap

• 3 socks

• 2 sports bras

• 1 pair of sneakers

• 1 pair of Chaco river sandals

Basically, I left my entire closet at home. 

You guys. Here is everything I brought. For two months. And no space in the car to shop along the road... unless I get rid of something.

EXTRAS

PRIORITY ONE - I hadn't spent an entire summer outdoors since doing a backpacking course through Alaska with NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School) about 25 years ago, and I remember FRYING my skin. Not this time! So, I brought Mom's Stuff Salve day cream + night cream to keep everyone's skin good and moisturized. I also brought their piñon salve because it's super for cuts, bites, stings, scrapes, etc.  (NOTE  - the piñon salve ended up being the BEST most useful thing we packed for our trip!)

PRIORITY TWO - Since I wouldn't be working on my computer or doing any housework at night (now that's a vacation!), I thought I might go a little bananas and do some "light" reading at night.

PRIORITY THREE -  Barr Hill Gin, but I didn't get a picture of that!  (Let me be honest... this was more important than underpants!)  

Of course, the husband and kids had their share of space in the carry-on duffle bags, and as it turns out, we did a pretty darn good job packing.

For now, I'll leave you with this awkward picture, taken minutes before we hopped in the car!

Love, Stasia 

The picture I've been too ashamed to show you.

Every day I watch the news, and everyday it becomes more and more clear to me as to WHY women have body image issues. When a nominee for the President of the United States of America can get away with flippant misogyny, sexism, harassment and blatant objectification of women on the political platform... well, it makes me mad.

She's a 4. Miss Piggy. Such a Nasty Woman.

And I won't even say the most offensive comment... you know the one.

I've worked REALLY HARD in the past few years to see my body as more than just a compilation of flaws. I've practiced, actually PRACTICED, looking at my naked body in the mirror, staring, until what I saw before me normalized and I could see my body as whole. 

I've come SO FAR in the past couple of years, but sometimes it's still hard.

Just this summer my husband took a picture of me at the beach that sent me into a completely unexpected body-shaming tail spin. I thought I was past that nonsense. I internalized all the garbage we hear about our bodies, and I let it paralyze me.

I cancelled date night. I hid in a cover-up for a few days. I didn't play with my kids.

I shared my anger, sadness and shame with my husband, and do you know what he said?  "No wonder you feel the way you do, sweetie. The only women I saw walking on the beach this week without a cover-up on were tall, slender, muscular women. Where in hell was everybody else? I'll tell you where they were. Sitting in their beach chairs, hiding their bodies!"

It was true. WHERE WAS EVERYBODY ELSE?

I got back in my suit before our vacation was over, but when I did, I was inhibited. I tried like hell not to be, but it was hard.

The how-to-have-a-beach-body societal pressure has always made me bristle.  I want to believe that I am stronger than any societal messaging, but sometimes, when I'm feeling open and free and vulnerable, I get gob-smacked and I crash into a puddle of self-deprecating tears. And I believe every slanderous comment and magazine headline that says my body is not beautiful enough.

Except right now, I don't feel myself weakening with every nasty comment I hear on TV, I feel myself gaining STRENGTH.

So today, I'm taking that picture that I've been too ashamed to show anybody, and I'm putting it on the damn internet, and say... MY BODY IS NOT AN ORNAMENT - IT IS A GOOD BODY - I’M DONE SHAMING IT BECAUSE THAT DOESN’T SERVE ME, YOU, ANYONE.

I'm not gonna lie, I had to look long and hard at this picture to see my beauty. It was hard for me to look past the cellulite on my thighs to see my gentle smile, my relaxed shoulders, and that smokin' hot pink bathing suit I'm wearing!

The longer I stared, the more I saw.

My dignity. My brave. My strength. My fierce. My happy. My kids. My beauty.

(Whoa... it makes me tear up just to read those words.)

And I can see YOU too.

Listen gals, the ONLY WAY we are going to start seeing ourselves as normal, is if we reclaim ourselves. If we say... NO WAY BUDDY, YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME THAT WAY!

We cannot hide. We cannot sulk. We cannot forsake our collective power as women because we are afraid.

We must STAND UP and reclaim OUR BODIES. We must STAND UP to the rhetoric, and say NO MAS. We must STAND UP to the bullies and say, HERE I AM.

I just finished up the most recent round of Stasia's Style School, and I'm so incredibly proud to say that there are literally DOZENS more women in the world, STANDING UP and saying, I WILL NOT HIDE ANY LONGER.

(I love you SSS5 Style Sisters!!  You know who you are!)

Meet Jennifer, Style Sister (and total fire cracker of awesome) from the latest round of SSS, and read what she has to say about reclaiming HER body!

"Before Style School, my default clothing choices were all about trying to hide my “problem areas” by dressing in long tops and dark colors, basically trying to be invisible. After seeing my photos every day in Style School, it was so clear that trying to hide those areas just didn’t work – more often than not it actually emphasized what I was trying to hide! So, despite my great resistance to it, as a Style School experiment, and in that safe space with the Style Sisters, I gave up trying to hide. It’s been an amazing mental shift to give up dressing from a place of shame and hiding and instead moving into a place of celebrating what I love, and who I am on the inside. I feel so much brighter and lighter, and more engaged in the world – more confident. It’s like I let go of a burden that I didn’t even know I was carrying. It’s been a much deeper and more meaningful change than I would have ever expected. Style School is so much more than the usual style "guides" - Stasia gives us the tools and the safe space to learn how to figure out how to let our best selves shine, inside and out." Jennifer G.

Right now is the PERFECT time to RECLAIM YOU!

Put on your shorts and your mini skirts. FREE YOUR KNEES. And your arms. And your belly! 

How in hell are we EVER going to normalize ALL WOMEN'S BODIES, if every perceived imperfection under the sun is being covered up and hidden from sight??  

It starts with me. And with you. 

If the thought of it gives you heart palpitations. Good. Do it anyway. I'll be doing it alongside you!

xoxo Stasia

How I Turned a Too-Tight Crewneck into a Cardigan

Do you know how to sew?? If you do, consider yourself lucky and madly skilled! If you don't... girl, I feel your frustration! I've always thought that because I didn't know how to wield a needle and thread, I couldn't alter my clothes. I thought a needle and thread was the ONLY way to make alternations, that is, until I started experimenting... with SCISSORS.

Do you remember when I turned my too-small-denim-jacket into a denim vest? If you missed that post, you can click HERE and see how easy it was.

And you KNOW I'm always cutting the necks out of my crewneck t-shirts!  Because let's be honest... crewneck t-shirts, in most cases, are not flattering.

Today I'm going to add to my scissor-alteration-repertoire, by showing you how I transformed a too-small J.Crew crewneck cashmere sweater into a cutie-pie-cardigan!

As you can SEE here, the sweater is a wee bit too small for me. Even when I'm perfectly still, my belly is peeking out from under the waistband, so you know that as soon as I move, that thing is gonna pop up like one of those suction-cup-poppers.

AND, the too-tight-crewneck really emphasizes my triangle body shape, making my hips look wide RELATIVE to my torso.

Since I picked up this sweater for FREE at a clothing swap, I figured I had nothing to lose by CUTTING IT IN HALF, to see how it would work as a cardigan!

So that's exactly what I did. With my son's $1 kid scissors.

WAY better, right?

And you know what, when I hand-washed the sweater, the cut-edge just rolled right in on itself.  It didn't fray, frizzle or fall apart.

Not only does the sweater fit my body better now that it's not so tight, but it also helps balance out my proportions! See how my hips look balanced with my torso?

If you've got a too-small tight-knit cashmere sweater sitting in your donation pile, try cutting it in half to see how it might work as a cardi!  I mean, you've got nothing to lose* by trying, right?

Now that I know how successful this little trick is, I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for honey-I-shrunk-the-cashmere sweaters at the thrift store!

And to be honest, I like the cut, raw edge better than I do buttons. It feels a little more gritty/creative/edgy, and I kinda like those feelings!

What do you think? Would you try this trick at home?

xo Stasia

PS. Gals, this is just a little reminder that YOUR BODY IS NEVER THE PROBLEM. I was feeling wicked-hip-heavy in the crewneck sweater, but as soon as I cut it in half, and balanced out my proportions, my hips felt curvy and delicious!  Whoa, right!  If, for even one second, you wish your body were different than it is, then I'd suggest you consider signing up for the next round of Stasia's Style School, so you can put that nonsense behind you, and learn to appreciate and dress your body, just as it is!  

*Any alterations you make are done at your own risk. I shall not be held liable.

How I turned my too-tight denim jacket into a denim vest

How many of you have a way-too-tight-in-the-sleeves (think sausage arms) denim jacket hanging in your closet? One that you save for occasions when you know you won't have to say, lift up your arms? Here's a picture of me, trying like heck to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out my (relatively new) too-tight denim jacket to MAKE. IT. WORK. But no matter how many awkward praying-mantis type stretches I did, the jacket was STILL too tight.

Since it was destined for donation, I decided to do a little experiment.

I donned a pair of really dull paper scissors (not recommended), cut as close to the sleeve hem as I could, and CUT OFF THE DARN SLEEVES!

No sewing machine. No stitching. Not even a pair of fancy fabric scissors. I just used what I had, and went for it. And I'm totally digging the results.

The denim vest works particularly well on my triangle body shape (torso narrower than my hips and thighs), because it adds oodles of volume to my upper half, creating the illusion of overall body balance!

(NOTE - I am not seeking to recreate a "perfect body". I am seeking balance. The same kind of balance I'm seeking when I arrange decorative pillows on my couch.)

If you're in the market for a denim vest, here are your options:

• buy a fancy one at J.Crew (HERE) for $70

• cut the sleeves off a denim jacket that you already own for FREE

• or buy a denim jacket at the thrift store for a few bucks and then cut the sleeves off

Happy Upcycling!

xo Stasia

How to avoid HANGER NIPPLES

Hanger Nipples. Otherwise known as "Shoulder Nipples". I can't stand them. The way they poke out like that... drives me crazy! You DO know what I'm talking about, right?

I thought I had invented the term, but according to google, I didn't. It's no wonder they have the name that they do, because well, they look like nipples.

My advice around hanger nipples is two-pronged...

First, AVOIDANCE. Second, REMEDY.

HANGER NIPPLE AVOIDANCE.

The bottom line here is this... knits don't belong on hangers. They belong folded up on a shelf or in a drawer.

(In case you don't know, a knit is a textile that results from, well, knitting, like a t-shirt, tank top, sweater or sweatshirt. You can detect a knit by it's stretchability. If it's stretches when you yank on it, it's probably a knit.)

This is how I created the hanger nipples seen above. A few days on this hanger and BOOM. Hanger Nipples. If I had used a metal/wire hanger, the results would be 100 times worse! (Don't do that.)

When you hang a knit garment, it stretches. Not only can you end up with a serious and unsightly case of Hanger Nipple, but the piece itself can actually lose its shape and become droopy if left on the hanger for too long.

All of your sweaters, t-shirts, tank tops, knit-dresses-with-sleeves and hoodies belong folded, in a drawer or on a shelf. They SHOULD NOT be hanging in your closet.

HANGER NIPPLE REMEDY

Hanger Nipples are easy to get rid of, so don't panic. Just machine or hand-wash the piece in question, dry it (either on the line, laying flat, or in the dryer) and then fold.

If you find yourself out in public with Hanger Nipples, or spot a friend with Hanger Nipples, all you need is a little bit of water to tame the protrusion. Wet your fingers, and massage the nipple with your fingers until the nipple subsides.  It won't go away completely, but you can at least tame the beast until the garment can be washed and reshaped.

This is one of those tips you might want to share with your girlfriends. You might even want to share it on Facebook as a Public Service Announcement.

Don't wait until fall is officially upon us to inspect your knits for nipples. If you have any cardigans or long sleeved knit dresses on hangers, remedy the situation NOW so you're ready for the inevitable dip in temperatures.

xo Stasia

PS. Now that you know what Hanger Nipples are, you'll notice them EVERYWHERE!

#stylebymychild TURNS ONE!!

Hello! It just occurred to me that Raisa (my daughter) and I have been doing #styledbymychild on Instagram + Facebook for OVER A YEAR!!

That's right, for ONE WHOLE YEAR I have allowed Raisa free rein of my closet EVERY SINGLE MONDAY, to pick out my ENTIRE outfit, without a peep of rejection or resistance from me.

I used to think I had a pretty good handle on my closet... until #stylebymychild came along. In the past year, I've learned MORE about my body, my closet, my limiting beliefs, and my emotional attachment to STUFF than I would have EVER anticipated.

Imagine for a minute, giving YOUR child free rein of your closet, telling them their only task was to MAKE MAMA BEAUTIFUL. (No kids? How about your mother/sister/brother/partner/neighbor/BFF.) You sit back and watch, as your babe thoughtfully works his/her way through your clothes, shoes and accessories and picks out...

Wait. Let's STOP here for a minute, because I want to know what you're thinking.

A) Being #styledbymychild sounds like a GREAT IDEA, Stasia.  I'm totally going to do this!!
B) Are you bananas? Hell no. NO WAY. Never.

I'm guessing that B (for BANANAS) is the resounding winner.

Which is precisely WHY I'm going to share with you the lessons I've learned in the past year that have made it ALL WORTH IT, because it hasn't ALL been pretty!

LESSON ONE. It's ok to LET GO of guilt.

Why in HECK do we have things in our closets that we don't like, want or need? You know... the orange blazer with the baggy boobie darts. The gold dress that is a static-cling-nightmare no matter how many times you try too de-static that thing. The black shoes that pinch your toes with every single step. The orange tights that you really really REALLY don't like but keep putting back in your damn drawer!!!

(Note the orange blazer with the baggie darts, the static-cling gold dress, the black shoes, and the orange tights! This is real life, yo.)

The answer... 50 SHADES OF freakin' GUILT.

"I SHOULD like it. I mean, I like it in my mind so I SHOULD just be happy with it, right?" "But it was expensive." "It was a gift." "I've gained so much weight, nothing else fits. I don't deserve to buy anything new." "My body is too short/tall, skinny/fat, wide/narrow." "It fits so I feel like I SHOULD like it."

I could write a blog post called 50 Shades of Guilt... because seriously, I have heard (and USED) at least 50 guilt ridden reasons why we hold on to stuff we don't like, want or need.

It's almost like there is a part of Raisa that is intuitively drawn to the stuff that I like the least. I moaned my way through those orange tights at least six times before I finally learned the lesson and let those things go, because "I SHOULD like them" has no place in my closet.

And it has no place in your closet either.

Pay attention to the rhetoric inside your head when you get dressed. If it's laced with 50 Shades of Guilt, listen to it, learn from it, and then let that shit go.

LESSON TWO.  It's OK to go a little wild.

I've worn some pretty wild closet concoctions in the past year! Things I would have NEVER worn in public otherwise...

And it's been AWESOME!

Being #styledbymychild has taught me that it's OK to push my own boundaries. To step outside of safety. To live on the edge!

It has helped me EXPAND and become MORE of myself.

When you step outside of your zone of safety, you will undoubtedly find a place that EXHILARATES and THRILLS. A place you might never have found without that little nudge.

LESSON THREE.  It's OK to be FANCY.

For some reason, we think we have to SAVE FANCY.

We think that feeling CONFIDENT, BOLD, CREATIVE, STRONG, and downright GLAMOROUS is something we have to save for special, and that our baseline should be frumpy, uninspiring and plain old boring.

No. WAY!

Being #styledbymychild has given me an excuse to wear my fancy on a Monday, and guess what? Nothing bad happened! In fact, GOOD happened. Because I felt good. And when I feel good I do good.

So now, you might find me being fancy... even on a Wednesday.

Here is what I KNOW to be true:

1. My body is BEAUTIFUL, just the way it is, so if something doesn't fit, I now it's the CLOTHES that are the problem. NOT MY BODY.
2. My clothes MUST be a reflection of who I am on the INSIDE. Just because they fit, does NOT mean they are right for me.

Those TWO THINGS right there, are the foundations of style. You MUST understand how to dress YOUR body and you MUST be able to answer the question WHO AM I AT MY CORE, without reservation.

Style is fluid, NOT static. As you grow, and become more of who you are, your style will inevitably shift. That's why what worked 6 months ago, might not work now. That's why you might think you like something, but realize that it no longer suits you.

Being #styledbymychild keeps me on my toes, but YOU don't need to be styled by YOUR child to learn and implement these basic, but very profound, lessons.

That's what Stasia's Style School is for.  ;)

Where are YOU at with style? Do you think your BODY is the problem? Do you know what it means to dress your INSIDE on the OUTSIDE?

If you take a minute to answer those Q’s right there, there’s a good chance you’re gonna learn something about yourself that is MEGA IMPORTANT. So slow down, ask the Q, and wait for an answer to arise.

Love, Stasia

How to Wear a Hat.

People often ask me how to wear a hat. Or they say something like... "I LOVE hats, but heck if I can wear one". It's a complex issue, and I figured it was time I attack it HEAD on, right here, right now.

Before you click away, convinced that YOU are not a hat-girl, let me ask you this... What would you have done if it were the 1920's and Carson and Mrs. Hughes had invited YOU to their wedding?

SNAP!

You would have found a hat that suited you because there is NO WAY in hell you would have missed THAT wedding!! I mean seriously...

All the women in the cast of Downton Abby have different face shapes, hair styles and body types... and they ALL look lovely in hats. If it's possible for them, it's possible for you too.

What's the old proverb... "Saying you don't look good in a hat is like saying you don't look good in shoes."

So, now that I've proven YOU CAN WEAR A HAT AND LOOK GOOD DOING IT (you just need to find the right one), it's time we talk about WHAT IT TAKES to wear a hat.

To be honest, I'm not sure about all of the how-to-find-the-perfect-hat-for-your-face-shape charts you can find online. I swear my face doesn't fit into any charts, and I'm convinced one must consider more than face shape when buying a hat. But for those of you that are curious, the best resource I found online for finding the right hat for you face shape was HERE on the Goorin Bros website.

Here's MY advice. Go shopping. Try on every single hat you can get your hands on. If you live near a hat shop like Goorin Bros, go there and ask the experts. If you live in small village like me and shopping online is your best bet, then ASK A MILLINER (aka - hat maker)!

That's what I did!

A few weeks back I found fellow Vermonter, Kristen Silverman, a milliner at Silverhill Creative Millinery on Instagram, and messaged her right away and said LET'S COLLABORATE!

All of her hats are HANDMADE, and they are just WOW!

I wasn't sure which hat would work on me, so I asked Kristen, and she suggested a fedora and a cloche.

I could see the cloche, but a fedora?? Am I cool enough to wear a fedora?

I was leery.

The cloche was LOVE at first site. The color was perfect for my skin, the whimsical twirls suited my character and personality, and the style was indeed flattering.

And now, the fedora.

As soon as I put it on, I decided NOPE and took it right off. Then I tried it on again. Still nope. I took it off. I tried it again. Left it on. Walked around the house for a little while. Put on some BOLD lipstick. Added earrings. Then sequins. Checked myself in the mirror about one bajillion times. And then it hit me... I LOVE THIS HAT!

The fedora connected me to that part of myself that is LIVING AT HER GROWING EDGE.

The risk taker. The rule bender. The fierce lover.

The cloche connected me to my fun and whimsy, which is easy and comfortable for me. Like tinted chapstick.

The fedora, on the other hand, was like the first time I wore red lipstick. At first I panicked and said NO WAY, and then after a few tries, I fell IN LOVE!

I AM one of those gals that can wear a fedora!! Who knew!

With Love & Gratitude, xo Stasia

When Tweaks are not Enough, it's time for Transformation.

I'm going to say it again...

"When tweaks are not enough, it's time for TRANSFORMATION."
Saul Kaplan, Business Innovation Factory

Communities. Government. Business. Education.

Yea, of course. But what about STYLE?

I know a lot of you are stuck in tweak-phase. Making little adjustments here and there. Trying to shop, but getting frustrated because you're not sure WHAT in heck to buy.

Another pair of earrings? A new shade of red lipstick? A denim jacket?

You've done tons of tweaking, but you STILL feel like your clothes don't represent your YOU-NESS.

You're still not happy with your body. You're focusing on your growing belly, your mama-stretch-marks and the cellulite on your thighs.

BRAVE... that is something you know is INSIDE you, but right now, you're feeling kind of like a whimpy-pants.

There comes a point when you've got to STOP TWEAKING & START TRANSFORMING.

As far as I see it, you need at least THREE THINGS in your pocket:

Inside-Out Congruency, Body Confidence, Bravery

Unless you have all three of those things, tweaks aren't gonna do you diddly.

Tweaks happen on the outside. Transformation happens on the INSIDE!

Let me show you what I mean...

Ack!

Right before my husband and I left left for the Peace Corps, we did a photo shoot with a local photographer, and THIS IS WHAT I WORE.

ON A PHOTO SHOOT!!!

I didn't have a CLUE about Inside-Out Congruency at the time, and this outfit is testament to that. It in NO WAY reflected my SOUL-FIRE!

That thing that I was doing there... trying to hide my hips and thighs because I was ashamed of my body - NOT WORKING!!

And you see those curved-in, lacking-confidence shoulders? Though I was doing something BRAVE (joining the Peace Corps) I wasn't feeling the POWER of my decision. I approached big change with a little bit of grit... and HUGE amount of trepidation.

STYLE is something I LEARNED.

I spent years tweaking, trying on different kinds of oversized drawstring pants and hippy pendants. And like a true science-gal (my background is in Ecology) I realized a new methodology was needed.

So I invented one, and things changed.

Seeing my own BEFORE + AFTER pictures still blows my mind. The "before" feelings, when I remember them, hit me hard right in the gut. I remember...

• the frustration and disappointment when I looked at my body in the mirror

• the sadness and defeat that would overwhelm me when I HAD to go shopping

• the blow-down fights I'd have with my closet each morning

• the feeling that I was a freakin' style disaster, no matter how many tweaks I made

• and constantly feeling misunderstood

Here's a side-by-side, to bring it all home.

Believe it or not... I was around 15 pounds lighter in the BEFORE picture.

HIDING DOES NOT WORK!!

THIS is why I started Stasia's Style School.

And this is PRECISELY WHY Style School is not about TWEAKS... it's about TRANSFORMATION.

And it works.

During the last round of SSS, TRANSFORMATION was the name of the game.

One of our #stylesisters, Michelle, transformed into a mighty force right before our very eyes, and it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

Though the pictures of Michelle speak for themselves, I think you need to hear from her directly:

"If I’m really being honest, when I look at these photos, I just see the before side. And I cringe. Seriously. The hair. It’s all I see. Realistically I know you’re looking at both photos... and I’m pretty much hoping you’re looking at the after side far more. So, I’m sitting here trying to get over myself and not dwell on the fact that I’m letting the whole world see something completely unflattering. Nothing like testing my capacity to be real!

What you see when you look at the photos is clothing changes and a new haircut. But the transformation is much bigger than that. You might see it in my eyes and smile. It was soul deep. It’s lessons learned about who I am. About what I was and what I no longer choose to be. It’s about bravery and laughter in the deepest parts. And it’s about community, confidence and caring – both about others and myself.

Wait, you didn’t think Style School could do all that? Well, neither did I. It was the best investment I've made in myself in a long, long time. I’m not sure I could say Style School changed my life. But it did transform me. And I’m the author of that life."

So let me ask you... are YOU ready for TRANSFORMATION?

xo Stasia

Top 3 things you REALLY NEED in your closet this year.

Whenever I see a "Top 10 Closet Must-Haves" article in a fashion magazine, I can hardly stand the suspense as I flip to the right page to see what MUST-HAVES I'm perfectly happy WITHOUT. I recently read an article in a fashion magazine entitled, "10 Things Every Woman MUST Own", and do you know how many of those things I actually owned?

Six. That's 60%. In grade-school terms, I flunked fashion.

These lists tend to focus on MATERIAL THINGS. Things that change from year to year, month to month, magazine to magazine, editor to editor.

Sure, they can help you understand trends and offer up inspiration, BUT please don't think for one second that those lists are going to help you find YOUR style!

In fact, they're pretty much designed to 1) make you spend LOTS of money and 2) fail at fashion so you keep coming back, seeking the next best thing.

If they truly offered something you NEEDED in the first place, you wouldn't keep going back for more, searching for answers.

Plus, I've worked with plenty of women who have ALL THE THINGS, but still feel lost in their closets and overwhelmed by their overstuffed drawers. They feel like people don't GET them. They are working hard to FIT IN, when all they really want to do is BELONG.

So I did you a favor, and I made you a REAL list. One that's actually useful.

TOP 3 THINGS YOU REALLY NEED IN YOUR CLOSET THIS YEAR.

1. Inside-Out Congruency

It's a term I coined myself, and it's the backbone of STYLE. It's the premise that who you are on the inside MUST be reflected on the outside. In other words, your PROJECTION OF SELF (how you live, love and laugh in the world) must match your PRESENTATION OF SELF (how you present yourself to the world.)

In order to do this, you've got to know who you are on the INSIDE. You've got to peel back the layers of exhaustion and overwhelm until you find your SHINE.

We don't spend enough time in our daily lives remembering WHO WE ARE ON THE INSIDE, and saying OUT LOUD things like, I am BRAVE, FIERCE, FUN, RESILIENT & WILDLY CREATIVE.

Imagine if you connected to THAT part of yourself everyday?! Imagine if WHAT YOU WORE reflected your SHINE, and not your fears. Imagine what your life would be like if you SHOWED UP.

(Hot damn, my cheeks are getting RED. This is powerful stuff!!)

There is tremendous danger in not allowing your insides to match your outsides... and it's called HIDING.

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Last summer Raisa (who loves bow ties) and her friend Iyla (who loves dresses) switched outfits... just for fun.

LOOK AT THEIR BODY LANGUAGE YOU GUYS!!

This is what HIDING looks like, and it makes my heart hurt.

I won't have it. Not on my watch.

2. A True Understanding of Your BODY

This one is HUGE! HUGE!!

You've got to learn how to RENAME, REFRAME & UNSHAME the conversations you have WITH and ABOUT your body.

You need to talk about your body in a way that is not demoralizing and hateful. You need to understand balance points and body proportions, as they relate to real life, NOT industry standards. You need to SEE YOUR BEAUTY, and not just your perceived flaws!!!

If you're wearing clothes that don't fit your body... in other words, if you're spending your days yanking and tugging, then it means you're trying to squeeze your body into something it shouldn't be squeezed into.

Did you hear me??

IF YOU'RE CLOTHES DON'T FIT, IT MEANS YOU'RE TRYING TO SQUEEZE YOUR BODY INTO THE WRONG DAMN THING!!!

Case in point.

SAME BODY (mine). TWO DIFFERENT PANT RISES.

You can't really blame it on my body now can you?

You've got to stop all the negative self-talk and GET EDUCATED. You've got to learn the SCIENCE of style. You've got to put on the right damn pants!

It takes courage to wear what you love. On a Tuesday.

I've seen lots of closets filled with lots of fancy things... that still have the tags on them! Not because they don't fit - but precisely because they do.

Wearing the things that make you feel BOLD BRIGHT & BEAUTIFUL takes BRAVERY.

It is not shallow or petty or anti-feminist.

You've got to flex that brave muscle every.single.day until the vulnerability hangovers subside, and you can wear what YOU want, whenever you want, without external permission or validation.

Listen, you can have a closet filled with every CLOSET MUST HAVE from every fashion magazine in print, but if you don't have:

• INSIDE OUT CONGRUENCY

• A TRUE UNDERSTANDING OF YOUR BODY

• THE COURAGE TO BE BRAVE

...you've got nothing.

The old saying, "a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear" exists for a reason.

THIS does NOT need to be YOUR struggle!!

In Stasia's Style School, we don't simply "touch" on Inside-Out Congruency, Body Confidence and Bravery - it is the foundation of the work we do together!!

And when these THREE THINGS are taught and practiced alongside some easily digestible principles of style, within a sisterhood of badassery - you've got one helluva course!

There is no other STYLE SCHOOL LIKE IT!

This course is not about tweaks. It's about TRANSFORMATION.

THE DOORS TO STASIA'S STYLE SCHOOL OPEN ON FRIDAY, JANUARY 29TH!!

I don't want to create panic or anything... but the price will NEVER EVER be at a $249 price tag again, and I'm capping my numbers at 40.

That's right... when that 40th person signs up, I'm closing the doors.

Part of what makes SSS so transformational is the SISTERHOOD that is created among women who are walking the same walk TOGETHER! The group is small, so you have an opportunity to REALLY get to know each other. You become each other's cheerleader and confidant and celebrator.

Believe it or not, I've been told by the SSS alum that I should double, triple... even quadruple my current price.

And I will, but not now. The content and delivery is ROCK SOLID. That's what I've poured my guts into. It's tried and tested and downright transformational. But right now, I'm operating off of a DIY website design with no legitimate branding... and that's all about to change.

When I relaunch SSS this spring/summer, I will have a new website with some fancy-pants branding... and a new price tag!!

Basically, Style School is getting an Inside-Out Congruency makeover. I need the outside (branding) to match the inside (transformational, inspirational, motivational content).

Want to know more about Stasia's Style School, CLICK HERE  to get on the email list, where you'll get a full-on description of exactly what style school is and how it'll change your damn life!

With LOVE & GRATITUDE,

xo Stasia

PS. Check out this AMAZING before and after pic of SSS alumna, Diane M., and the sweet things she's got to say about Style School! (Seriously, the picture blows my mind!! By the end of SSS her spirit was SHINING BRIGHT!!)

photo 1

Stasia’s simple yet powerful processes about STYLE — paying attention to how we feel, setting ourselves up for success, focusing on what we love — radiates into all areas of LIFE. Before Stasia's Style School I was wearing a self-imposed uniform to work that made me feel dutiful and drab. Stasia’s teachings have been the key to bringing more color and creativity into my style and that has translated into more pep in my step at work and at home. This isn’t a class to learn what fashion trends say we “should" be wearing. It’s about expressing ourselves in our own unique way, and what sets it apart is Stasia herself (wit, wisdom, and grace personified) and the Sisterhood that is created within the group. Well worth it, doable, life-enhancing, fun! ~Diane M (SSS Alumni)